Jonathan Fuller

Definitions
   Jonathan Fuller = “Computer programmer”
   Redefine Jonathan Fuller AS Jonathan Vittum = “Actor/Director/Writer”
   Redefine Jonathan Vittum AS MorticaiXavier = “Brewer/crazy person”

Initialize
   Set Year = 1996
   Set Location = “Starksboro, VT”
   Set Extract Kit Count = 0
   Try to brew mead = “Fail”
   Give up
   Wait 7 Years
   Set Location = “Burlington, VT”

   Fall in love
   Set Location = “Dorchester, MA”
   Set Married = “1″
   Decide beer might be easier
   Brew Alton Brown Pale ale recipe
   Impression = “LIKE!!”

   Do While Imression = “LIKE!!”
    and Satisfaction = high value
       Brew more kits
       Add 1 to Extract Kits Count
       Drink more beers
       Work too much
       If Extract Kits Count = 3
         Set Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction With Extract Kits – 1
       If Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction – 1
          Set Satisfaction = Satisfaction With Extract Kits
       Wait 2 Months
   End Do

   Set Location = “Oakland, CA”
   Set Extract = “0″
   Set All Grain = “1″
   Year = 2009
   Brew Belgian Pale Ale
   Impression = “OKAY”
   Set All Grain Count = 1

   Set Location = “Vacaville, CA”
   Set Wife = “Pregnant”
   Year = 2010
   Set Jonathan Fuller = Jonathan Fuller || “Member AHA”
   Set All Grain Count = 2
   Set Club = “Green Belt Brewers Association”
   Join Club

   Set Wife = “Giving Birth”
   Set Baby = “Donald William Dean Fuller”
   Set Sleep Hours = 3 
   Wait 3 Months
   
   Set Equipment = “Plastic Bucket + Grain Bag”
   Brew Lagunitas IPA Clone
      Redefine Lagunitas IPA Clone AS Midwifes IPA
   Impression = “LIKE”

   Set Equipment = “Denny Tun”

   Set Annual = 1
   Brew Annual||”st” Sweet William Barley Wine
   Impression = “NEEDS TIME”

   Set Location = “Davis, CA”
   Do While Impression <> “CAN NEVER DO BETTER THAN THIS”
      Watch Baby
      Baby Impression = “Amazing”
      Work
      Plan more brews
      If Big Beer Bug = “Biting”
         Brew Parti Gyle
      Else
         Brew
      Wait 1 month
      Set Satisfaction= “Could Do Better”
   End Do.

Baby Impression = “Amazing” 
Wife = “Beautiful” || “Understanding” || “Love of my life”
Brewing Impression = “Best Hobby Ever”

Well there it is, clear as Russian Imperial Stout.