MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum

[morticaixavier]

I have been on here for a couple years now so this is pretty belated but I couldn't think of a clever and pithy way to put it till now. so here goes

Definitions
   Jonathan Fuller = "Computer programmer"
   Redefine Jonathan Fuller AS Jonathan Vittum = "Actor/Director/Writer"
   Redefine Jonathan Vittum AS MorticaiXavier = "Brewer/crazy person"

Initialize
   Set Year = 1996
   Set Location = "Starksboro, VT"
   Set Extract Kit Count = 0
   Try to brew mead = "Fail"
   Give up
   Wait 7 Years
   Set Location = "Burlington, VT"

   Fall in love
   Set Location = "Dorchester, MA"
   Set Married = "1"
   Decide beer might be easier
   Brew Alton Brown Pale ale recipe
   Impression = "LIKE!!"

   Do While Imression = "LIKE!!"
    and Satisfaction = high value
       Brew more kits
       Add 1 to Extract Kits Count
       Drink more beers
       Work too much
       If Extract Kits Count = 3
         Set Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction With Extract Kits - 1
       If Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction - 1
          Set Satisfaction = Satisfaction With Extract Kits
       Wait 2 Months
   End Do

   Set Location = "Oakland, CA"
   Set Extract = "0"
   Set All Grain = "1"
   Year = 2009
   Brew Belgian Pale Ale
   Impression = "OKAY"
   Set All Grain Count = 1

   Set Location = "Vacaville, CA"
   Set Wife = "Pregnant"
   Year = 2010
   Set Jonathan Fuller = Jonathan Fuller || "Member AHA"
   Set All Grain Count = 2
   Set Club = "Green Belt Brewers Association"
   Join Club

   Set Wife = "Giving Birth"
   Set Baby = "Donald William Dean Fuller"
   Set Sleep Hours = 3
   Wait 3 Months
  
   Set Equipment = "Plastic Bucket + Grain Bag"
   Brew Lagunitas IPA Clone
      Redefine Lagunitas IPA Clone AS Midwifes IPA
   Impression = "LIKE"

   Set Equipment = "Denny Tun"

   Set Annual = 1
   Brew Annual||"st" Sweet William Barley Wine
   Impression = "NEEDS TIME"

   Set Location = "Davis, CA"
   Do While Impression <> "CAN NEVER DO BETTER THAN THIS"
      Watch Baby
      Baby Impression = "Amazing"
      Work
      Plan more brews
      If Big Beer Bug = "Biting"
         Brew Parti Gyle
      Else
         Brew
      Wait 1 month
      Set Satisfaction= "Could Do Better"
   End Do.


Baby Impression = "Amazing"
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Brewing Impression = "Best Hobby Ever"

Well there it is, clear as Russian Imperial Stout.

[Mark G]

Well done! And I'm not even a computer guy.

[tschmidlin]

Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"

Nice   But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

[morticaixavier]

Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"

Nice   But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator

[hokerer]

Dang, first time in all this time that I noticed it's morticai and not morticia.  I've had Addams Family in the back of my mind all along.

[morticaixavier]

Dang, first time in all this time that I noticed it's morticai and not morticia.  I've had Addams Family in the back of my mind all along.

**duh duh dump click click**

I don't look anywhere near that good in a black slinky dress.

[tschmidlin]

Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"

Nice   But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator

In perl, || is or, && is and.

[phillamb168]

   Set Married = "1"

How does your wife feel about that value being a string and not boolean? TRUE FALSE! 

[morticaixavier]

   Set Married = "1"

How does your wife feel about that value being a string and not boolean? TRUE FALSE! 

Ha! she would not be happy, let's change that to Married = B"1" (TRUE)

[mtnrockhopper]

Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"

Nice   But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator

In perl, || is or, && is and.

|| is concatentate in Oracle SQL only.

[mtnrockhopper]

And this was pretty funny.

[morticaixavier]

Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"

Nice   But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator

In perl, || is or, && is and.

|| is concatentate in Oracle SQL only.

It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong

[tschmidlin]

It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong

Doesn't that mean
Wife = "BeautifulUnderstandingLove of my life"

You need some spaces and commas in there

[morticaixavier]

It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong

Doesn't that mean
Wife = "BeautifulUnderstandingLove of my life"

You need some spaces and commas in there

geesh your worse than the users. you just gotta have everything perfect..

okay try this Wife = "Beautiful, "||"Undertanding "||"Love of my life"

[pinnah]

 , Interesting format.

I am kind of glad I have almost no idea what you people are talking about.....but

your stage name is Morticai and you named your kid Don?