My favorite Southernism that I use sometimes to irritate the English teachers is my family is "fixin' ta" as in "I'm fixin' ta go to the store. Need anything?"
The absolute best for causing the little jumpy eyelid tic is to combine it with "made" as in "I'm fixin' ta get my picture made"
A few weeks ago in a conversation with my cousin I heard this; true story.
"She shook me awake and I hear'd something up and under the house
. I grabbed my pistol and looked about and there was a
ol' tom cat. I holler'd at him and he ran and clem'd
that there pecan tree. I stood up and under him
and said "you better git, 'cause I'm fixin' to put one in your ass
Welcome to a South Carolina high school graduate's conversation.
I don't know how much else is wrong.
<sigh, he makes more than I do, actually he supervises about 12 people> (Just stay away)