You guys sooooo funny!
OK, here's another story.... For those of you that don't know, I fly airplanes for a living and spend upwards of 100 nights a year in a hotel in 10-15 countries. Most people that bring home bed bugs "catch" them in hotel rooms. I take certain precautions to try and avoid that.... with that in mind:
This morning at about 04.00 happily asleep in my own bed I was awoken because "something" was walking around on my leg...... Within about 2.3 seconds I was upright, uncovered and the light was on and I caught "it". A bug. A bed bug?
So, minutes later I am in my study with said specimen and a magnifying glass looking at very unpleasant pictures on the interweb, as well as visiting the web site of the amateur entomology society and trying to use their "bug identification chart"..... Lots of words I didn't understand. Did you know you can send your bug to the government to have it identified? No charge!
As I progressed I formed the opinion that what I had was NOT a bed bug. It had a two part body, but the two parts were about equal sized. The BB has a small forward part and large rear part. (Not going to say head and torso as I have no idea which "systems" are where)..... Also the BB is dark/red whereas my bug was white/tan. Furthermore my specimen was 7.5-8mm (after I squished it somewhat), BB's are smaller by a few mm. Then it hit me. BB have six legs, mine had......seven. OK, four on one side three on the other. I think it is a safe assumption that the fourth one on the side with three was lost in the scuffle in bed and on the way to my desk.
PHEW! It appears I had an arachnid of sorts. For the record, my overnight bag lives in the garage and never makes it in the house. On layovers it, and the flight bag, are parked on hard surfaces, and no clothing goes on any upholstered furniture. Most if not all lives in the suitcase with the lid down.