American Homebrewers Association

Brewer of the Week: Jonathan Fuller

Brewer of the Week: Jonathan Fuller

Definitions
   Jonathan Fuller = "Computer programmer"
   Redefine Jonathan Fuller AS Jonathan Vittum = "Actor/Director/Writer"
   Redefine Jonathan Vittum AS MorticaiXavier = "Brewer/crazy person"

Initialize
   Set Year = 1996
   Set Location = "Starksboro, VT"
   Set Extract Kit Count = 0
   Try to brew mead = "Fail"
   Give up
   Wait 7 Years
   Set Location = "Burlington, VT"

   Fall in love
   Set Location = "Dorchester, MA"
   Set Married = "1"
   Decide beer might be easier
   Brew Alton Brown Pale ale recipe
   Impression = "LIKE!!"

   Do While Imression = "LIKE!!"
    and Satisfaction = high value
       Brew more kits
       Add 1 to Extract Kits Count
       Drink more beers
       Work too much
       If Extract Kits Count = 3
         Set Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction With Extract Kits - 1
       If Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction - 1
          Set Satisfaction = Satisfaction With Extract Kits
       Wait 2 Months
   End Do

   Set Location = "Oakland, CA"
   Set Extract = "0"
   Set All Grain = "1"
   Year = 2009
   Brew Belgian Pale Ale
   Impression = "OKAY"
   Set All Grain Count = 1

   Set Location = "Vacaville, CA"
   Set Wife = "Pregnant"
   Year = 2010
   Set Jonathan Fuller = Jonathan Fuller || "Member AHA"
   Set All Grain Count = 2
   Set Club = "Green Belt Brewers Association"
   Join Club

   Set Wife = "Giving Birth"
   Set Baby = "Donald William Dean Fuller"
   Set Sleep Hours = 3 
   Wait 3 Months
   
   Set Equipment = "Plastic Bucket + Grain Bag"
   Brew Lagunitas IPA Clone
      Redefine Lagunitas IPA Clone AS Midwifes IPA
   Impression = "LIKE"

   Set Equipment = "Denny Tun"

   Set Annual = 1
   Brew Annual||"st" Sweet William Barley Wine
   Impression = "NEEDS TIME"

   Set Location = "Davis, CA"
   Do While Impression <> "CAN NEVER DO BETTER THAN THIS"
      Watch Baby
      Baby Impression = "Amazing"
      Work
      Plan more brews
      If Big Beer Bug = "Biting"
         Brew Parti Gyle
      Else
         Brew
      Wait 1 month
      Set Satisfaction= "Could Do Better"
   End Do.


Baby Impression = "Amazing" 
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Brewing Impression = "Best Hobby Ever"

Well there it is, clear as Russian Imperial Stout. 

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Tell the homebrew world about a homebrewer we should all know better (perhaps even you). The AHA chooses posts from the Homebrewer Bio board on the AHA Forum to feature in the Brewer of the Week section.

gary sandel 07.11.12

HA. I forwarded this to my brother/programmer/homebrewer. His response: Interesting.. Can clean up the code quite a bit. Get rid of all the innocuous references to wife’s and baby’s. There should be a separate class to handle that aspect. Got to keep the objects clean. Brewing objects don’t need to know about family objects. Until son object starts watching the boil. Then the helper classes would come into play.

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