Homebrewers Association | AHA Forum

General Category => Homebrewer Bios => Topic started by: morticaixavier on January 16, 2012, 06:17:53 PM

Title: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: morticaixavier on January 16, 2012, 06:17:53 PM
I have been on here for a couple years now so this is pretty belated but I couldn't think of a clever and pithy way to put it till now. so here goes

Definitions
   Jonathan Fuller = "Computer programmer"
   Redefine Jonathan Fuller AS Jonathan Vittum = "Actor/Director/Writer"
   Redefine Jonathan Vittum AS MorticaiXavier = "Brewer/crazy person"

Initialize
   Set Year = 1996
   Set Location = "Starksboro, VT"
   Set Extract Kit Count = 0
   Try to brew mead = "Fail"
   Give up
   Wait 7 Years
   Set Location = "Burlington, VT"

   Fall in love
   Set Location = "Dorchester, MA"
   Set Married = "1"
   Decide beer might be easier
   Brew Alton Brown Pale ale recipe
   Impression = "LIKE!!"

   Do While Imression = "LIKE!!"
    and Satisfaction = high value
       Brew more kits
       Add 1 to Extract Kits Count
       Drink more beers
       Work too much
       If Extract Kits Count = 3
         Set Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction With Extract Kits - 1
       If Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction - 1
          Set Satisfaction = Satisfaction With Extract Kits
       Wait 2 Months
   End Do

   Set Location = "Oakland, CA"
   Set Extract = "0"
   Set All Grain = "1"
   Year = 2009
   Brew Belgian Pale Ale
   Impression = "OKAY"
   Set All Grain Count = 1

   Set Location = "Vacaville, CA"
   Set Wife = "Pregnant"
   Year = 2010
   Set Jonathan Fuller = Jonathan Fuller || "Member AHA"
   Set All Grain Count = 2
   Set Club = "Green Belt Brewers Association"
   Join Club

   Set Wife = "Giving Birth"
   Set Baby = "Donald William Dean Fuller"
   Set Sleep Hours = 3
   Wait 3 Months
  
   Set Equipment = "Plastic Bucket + Grain Bag"
   Brew Lagunitas IPA Clone
      Redefine Lagunitas IPA Clone AS Midwifes IPA
   Impression = "LIKE"

   Set Equipment = "Denny Tun"

   Set Annual = 1
   Brew Annual||"st" Sweet William Barley Wine
   Impression = "NEEDS TIME"

   Set Location = "Davis, CA"
   Do While Impression <> "CAN NEVER DO BETTER THAN THIS"
      Watch Baby
      Baby Impression = "Amazing"
      Work
      Plan more brews
      If Big Beer Bug = "Biting"
         Brew Parti Gyle
      Else
         Brew
      Wait 1 month
      Set Satisfaction= "Could Do Better"
   End Do.


Baby Impression = "Amazing"
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Brewing Impression = "Best Hobby Ever"

Well there it is, clear as Russian Imperial Stout.
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: Mark G on January 16, 2012, 06:34:50 PM
Well done! And I'm not even a computer guy.
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: tschmidlin on January 16, 2012, 07:25:56 PM
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: morticaixavier on January 16, 2012, 08:09:47 PM
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator ;D
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: Hokerer on January 16, 2012, 08:17:40 PM
Dang, first time in all this time that I noticed it's morticai and not morticia.  I've had Addams Family in the back of my mind all along.
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: morticaixavier on January 16, 2012, 09:30:41 PM
Dang, first time in all this time that I noticed it's morticai and not morticia.  I've had Addams Family in the back of my mind all along.

**duh duh dump click click**

I don't look anywhere near that good in a black slinky dress.
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: tschmidlin on January 17, 2012, 04:10:59 AM
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator ;D
In perl, || is or, && is and. ;D
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: phillamb168 on January 17, 2012, 09:27:34 AM

   Set Married = "1"


How does your wife feel about that value being a string and not boolean? TRUE FALSE!  ;D
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: morticaixavier on January 17, 2012, 03:26:50 PM

   Set Married = "1"


How does your wife feel about that value being a string and not boolean? TRUE FALSE!  ;D

Ha! she would not be happy, let's change that to Married = B"1" (TRUE)
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: Jimmy K on January 18, 2012, 06:52:23 PM
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator ;D
In perl, || is or, && is and. ;D
|| is concatentate in Oracle SQL only.
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: Jimmy K on January 18, 2012, 06:53:04 PM
And this was pretty funny.
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: morticaixavier on January 18, 2012, 09:13:17 PM
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator ;D
In perl, || is or, && is and. ;D
|| is concatentate in Oracle SQL only.

It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong ;D
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: tschmidlin on January 18, 2012, 09:35:34 PM
It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong ;D
Doesn't that mean
Wife = "BeautifulUnderstandingLove of my life"

You need some spaces and commas in there ;)
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: morticaixavier on January 19, 2012, 09:14:36 PM
It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong ;D
Doesn't that mean
Wife = "BeautifulUnderstandingLove of my life"

You need some spaces and commas in there ;)

geesh your worse than the users. you just gotta have everything perfect.. ;D

okay try this Wife = "Beautiful, "||"Undertanding "||"Love of my life"
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: pinnah on January 19, 2012, 10:07:13 PM
 :), Interesting format.

I am kind of glad I have almost no idea what you people are talking about.....but

your stage name is Morticai and you named your kid Don? :o
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: morticaixavier on January 19, 2012, 10:40:40 PM
:), Interesting format.

I am kind of glad I have almost no idea what you people are talking about.....but

your stage name is Morticai and you named your kid Don? :o

I am unclear as to your meaning. Is there something I am missing?
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: pinnah on January 19, 2012, 11:17:24 PM
I have always been intrigued by what and how people come up with names for their children,
and have often thought about how hard it must be to settle on a name when you do not know the personality of the child yet.

I mean no offense and hope that I am not being offensive.

It was just, that in my minds eye,
I had imagined that someone called Morticai,
would name the boy child something unusual… Declan, Silas, Oryan, Xavier …
and perhaps not Harold, Millard, Lester, Donald.










Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: morticaixavier on January 19, 2012, 11:28:09 PM
No offense taken!

We named him after three of our grandfathers Donald (my mothers father) William (My fathers father) Dean (my wifes mothers father) It started because my wife really wanted to name her son Will and if we were going to essentially name him after my dad's dad I wanted to get my moms dad in there to cause I was much closer to him. then it got out of hand.

I feel like one should choose an unusual name for oneself, hence Morticai Xavier. At one time, in highschool is was Xavier Valentine, then Xavier Morticai Valentine. Finally settleing on Morticai Xavier. He can adopt Declan or Silas latter in life is he so wishes.
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: tomsawyer on January 20, 2012, 12:01:12 AM
I liked the programming version of an interview even though I don't know squat about programming.  But if elected mayor I'll nominate you as Executive Programmer of Brewing.  Of course your nomination will be held up for months by the other party so don't get a big head.

Morticia was strangely hot, yes.  Morticai, I'm thinking more of an old dude named Morty with his pants hiked up to his armpits.

Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: pinnah on January 20, 2012, 01:56:43 AM
No offense taken!
<snip>

He can adopt Declan or Silas latter in life is he so wishes.

 :), thanks.

The naming of lineage; equally intriguing!
<snip>

I actually met an Orion this week.  I had to say it back to him with a question mark in my voice when he told me. :-[

Then, he left his business card on my windshield and I found out he was an ORyan. 


Morticai, I'm thinking more of an old dude named Morty with his pants hiked up to his armpits.

Mort, yes armpit waistband.
Morticai, wizard hat.

BTW, I have an awesome tailless cat named Lenny.   ;)

Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: Alewyfe on January 21, 2012, 06:24:50 PM
Maybe it's not just the homebrew I love....maybe it's the brewers? You guys are sooo weirdly entertaining.
Title: Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
Post by: kgs on February 18, 2012, 02:24:52 PM
Maybe it's not just the homebrew I love....maybe it's the brewers? You guys are sooo weirdly entertaining.

I know right? Homebrewers are the best. +1 for uxorious programmer-homebrewers.

Btw, your AHA handle is (almost) my home SSID (Alewife). My next-door neighbor homebrews and he caught the reference.