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Other than Brewing => The Pub => Topic started by: dean on February 26, 2010, 12:17:35 PM

Title: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: dean on February 26, 2010, 12:17:35 PM
How about a list of sayings or quotes you've heard?

One of my favorites which I heard my Father say a lot... "Those who want to dance, must pay the fiddler."    ;D  :D 
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on February 26, 2010, 12:54:36 PM
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: gail on February 26, 2010, 01:04:44 PM
Instead of "it sticks out like a sore thumb", my Dad says "it stands out like a crapper in the fog".  ??? ;D
Everytime he says that I just have to laugh.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: dean on February 26, 2010, 01:07:19 PM
Instead of "it sticks out like a sore thumb", my Dad says "it stands out like a crapper in the fog".  ??? ;D
Everytime he says that I just have to laugh.

Let your nose guide you.   ;) :D
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on February 26, 2010, 01:09:00 PM
That boys slicker 'en chicken sh---!
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: dean on February 26, 2010, 01:27:56 PM
Two about gold...

Silence is golden.

and

He who has the gold, makes the rules.



I personally don't subscribe 100% to the golden rules because I've seen them broke enough times to know... everyone pays the fiddler one way or another.  

Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on February 26, 2010, 01:35:45 PM
A lot of old brewers terms have become popular sayings that have lost their original meaning. Rule of thumb: used to be the way they checked the mash temp before thermometers. Mind Your P's and Q's: mind your Pints and Quarts, or at least, thats what I've heard.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: dean on February 26, 2010, 01:54:22 PM
Ignorance is bliss.

To me, that one is second only to the fiddler.   :D
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: tygo on February 26, 2010, 02:08:30 PM
My father in law has some good ones.  My personal favorite is:

"I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest."

He has also has a couple more vulgar versions of that one.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: babalu87 on February 26, 2010, 02:14:45 PM
Never leave fish to find fish
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: bluesman on February 26, 2010, 02:29:56 PM
A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother. Ben Franklin

A house divided cannot stand.

A man who never made a mistake, never made anything.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on February 26, 2010, 02:32:29 PM
"I can't, I gotta brew this weekend - it won't brew itself, ya know."
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: MrNate on February 26, 2010, 02:33:06 PM
Sow the wind, and you'll reap the whirlwind.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on February 26, 2010, 02:36:58 PM
Make a yeast starter and watch fermentation temps.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: dean on February 26, 2010, 03:24:54 PM
Never look a gift horse in the mouth. 

Never sniff a gift fish.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: mikeypedersen on February 26, 2010, 03:37:20 PM
I thought I heard the rule of thumb thing was an old english law that said a man couldn't beat his wife with a stick wider than his thumb.  ???
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: dean on February 26, 2010, 04:06:31 PM
I've read that one too... someone explained it but I don't remember what they said.  I think it was a law, back then women were treated like a higher form of livestock or belongings.  I think they also believed the moon was made of cheese back then too?  Unimaginable...
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: tom on February 26, 2010, 06:16:14 PM
My Grandpa used to say "I taught you everything I know and you still don't know nothing!" ?
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: speed on February 26, 2010, 06:20:37 PM
he's so skinny he could take a shower in a gunbarrel
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on February 26, 2010, 07:36:39 PM
Funner than slingin' chittlins.

Sharp as the blunt side of an axe.

Dummer than a box full of hammers.

Bright as a 2 watt bulb.

Queer as a 3 dollar bill.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: redbeerman on February 26, 2010, 07:40:28 PM
Ain't got the sense God gave a hoe handle.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: mtbrewer on February 26, 2010, 07:47:31 PM
There are two rules in life a man should never bend. Never whittle towards yourself, or pee against the wind.

He's about as smart as a post.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: mikeypedersen on February 26, 2010, 07:50:13 PM
One of my college buddies had his grandfather come out to visit. I forget what we were doing, but I remember him saying "You boys been dipped in dumb"? Been saying that ever since.

I also like the saying sharp as a bowling ball.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: SwashBuckling Drunk on February 26, 2010, 07:57:50 PM
My Father-in-Law is a wise man of few words. Some of my favorites:

When his kids would leave the house, he always said "don't do anything dumb"

"The more friends ya got, the more trouble ya got"

When describing my wife's older sister, who's had a few brief marriages "she just meets a guy and marries him"

He kills me
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: akr71 on February 26, 2010, 07:58:43 PM
Don't push on a rope.

Sh!t flows downhill.

and advice for DIY plumbers - don't lick your fingers!
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: MrNate on February 26, 2010, 08:01:02 PM
Two more I heard a lot growing up:

Well, s*** fire and save matches!
Yeah, and if my grandma had balls she'd be my grandpa.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: mtbrewer on February 26, 2010, 08:17:19 PM
She fell down the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way

only users lose drugs ;D
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: tubercle on February 26, 2010, 08:21:21 PM
Sometimes it's easier to plow around the stump

Shakin' like a dog $hitin' persimmon seeds
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: hamiltont on February 26, 2010, 08:31:57 PM
Well, that went over like a fart in church...

Confucius say man who fart in church sit in own pew...  :o
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: mikeypedersen on February 26, 2010, 08:42:24 PM
I can smell a lie like a fart in car.....
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: capozzoli on February 26, 2010, 09:45:06 PM
The only kind of meat a priest can eat on Friday is none.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: mikeypedersen on February 26, 2010, 09:53:45 PM
When my old boss came across a good deal, he would always say "That's like a sore peter.....You can't beat it."   ;)
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: maxieboy on February 26, 2010, 10:12:29 PM
If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy. -  Red Green 
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: akr71 on February 26, 2010, 10:19:49 PM
That's as old as my Grandma and twice as smelly
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: mikeypedersen on February 26, 2010, 10:23:09 PM
Just remember before you were Mama's little boy, you were Daddy's little squirt.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: jimbo44 on February 26, 2010, 11:55:16 PM
"How ya been."  "Finer than Frogs hair."

"I'm hornier than a two peckered billy goat"
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: novabrew on February 27, 2010, 12:02:15 AM
Don't fear the foam.  Forgot where I heard that one and what it means.  ;)

He lies like a rug (or dog).

Like Paul Revere's ride, a little light in the belfry.

Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: weazletoe on February 27, 2010, 12:50:36 AM
Lasted as long as a fart in a whirlwind.

Went over like a turd in a punch bowl.

If you go to bed with an itchy butt, you'll wake up with a stinky finger.
 
Looked like a monkey screwing a football.

Busier than a 3 legged crap covering crap on ice.

Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: tygo on February 27, 2010, 01:39:06 AM

Busier than a 3 legged crap covering crap on ice.


Say what?
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: weazletoe on February 27, 2010, 02:15:00 AM
hehehe...........whoops......

Busier than a three legged cat covering crap, on ice.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: tygo on February 27, 2010, 03:18:31 AM
hehehe...........whoops......

Busier than a three legged cat covering crap, on ice.

Haha, even clarified I'll say that's an interesting one
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: bluesman on February 27, 2010, 04:00:42 AM
 Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: denny on February 27, 2010, 04:32:30 PM
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin


There's a lot of debate about if he actually said that....
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: Hokerer on February 27, 2010, 08:49:14 PM
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin


There's a lot of debate about if he actually said that....

Yep, seems the actual quote is...

"Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy."

http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2008/09/15/misquote-ben-franklin-on-beer.htm (http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2008/09/15/misquote-ben-franklin-on-beer.htm)
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: chauncey on February 27, 2010, 09:22:42 PM
My mother's favorite: "Wish in one hand and sh!t in the other and see which one fills up first."
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: dean on February 27, 2010, 09:45:36 PM
Chauncy... I was wondering where you were, you old bird you!   ;D

Since Benjamin Franklin was brought into question... how many knew he loved to drink, was a womanizer, farted a lot and thought it was funny!   :D :D  Heard in a dimly lit bar after someone farted.... "Your voice has changed but your breath is still the same."   :D
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: weazletoe on February 27, 2010, 09:58:18 PM
Or as my grandpa used to say "Speak again sweet lips.I'll find ya!"
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: BrewArk on March 02, 2010, 08:05:06 AM
To Alcohol!  The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems
Homer Simpson

Bitten by the brewer's horse
Old English slang for being drunk

If you drink don't drive.  Don't even putt.
Dean Martin

Without question, the greatest invention of in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: capozzoli on March 02, 2010, 12:16:47 PM
"you couldn't find your ass with both hands and a mirror." 
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: akr71 on March 02, 2010, 12:59:37 PM
He doesn't know his own ass from a hole in the ground.

He's as useless as tits on a bull.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on March 02, 2010, 03:00:08 PM
Beer is not the best thing in life, but it makes all those other things better. :)
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: brewboy on March 02, 2010, 03:06:44 PM
Fool's names and fool's faces always show up in public places.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: bluesman on March 02, 2010, 03:07:59 PM
"All for one!" "One for all!" "Every man for himself!"
- Larry, Moe and Curly
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: bluesman on March 02, 2010, 03:11:05 PM
"Ooohh, a woman! Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!!!"
- Curly
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: bluesman on March 02, 2010, 03:13:12 PM
"I used to work in a bakery as a pilot" "A pilot?" "Yeah. I used to take the bread from one corner and pilot in the other."
- Curly
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: brewboy on March 02, 2010, 03:32:46 PM
Judge not, lest ye be judged judgmental
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: MrNate on March 02, 2010, 04:34:51 PM
It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.

Dunno source, but it sounds like Twain.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on March 02, 2010, 04:34:59 PM
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin


There's a lot of debate about if he actually said that....

Yeah, especially since Ben Franklin was known to be very temperate. I'm a big fan of Ben Franklin and I highly recommend the biography by Walter Isaacson. Allot of Ben's quotes are timeless.

Here's a good Ben Franklin Quote as apt today as it was in his day.

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do."
Benjamin Franklin
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: majorvices on March 02, 2010, 04:36:34 PM
It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.

Dunno source, but it sounds like Twain.

Actually, that is from Proverbs, IIRC.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: MrNate on March 02, 2010, 06:52:46 PM
It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.

Dunno source, but it sounds like Twain.

Actually, that is from Proverbs, IIRC.

Non-theological biblical study being a subject of some interest to me, it was off to Google I went. Here's what I found:

Quote
Peter Lewerin has suggested Proverbs 17:28 as an early source of the line: "Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding."

Makes me want to hold up cardboard signs that say "Proverbs 17:28" at sporting events.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: capozzoli on March 02, 2010, 07:12:37 PM
Never expect, cause you will make an (ex) out of (pec) and (t).
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: brewboy on March 02, 2010, 08:34:16 PM
I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: weazletoe on March 02, 2010, 11:04:46 PM
I'm built for comfort, not for speed.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: speed on March 03, 2010, 05:42:26 AM
what do you mean you aren't built for me, i'm appalled :'(
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: weazletoe on March 04, 2010, 01:22:36 PM
Am I allowed to use the fat chick / moped analogy here? Cause this would be the perfect thread for it?!  ;D
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: bluesman on March 04, 2010, 02:51:02 PM
I'm built for comfort, not for speed.

Reminds me of Good Ole Holin' Wolf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkv8e6aUcxc
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: mikeypedersen on March 04, 2010, 03:55:52 PM
Am I allowed to use the fat chick / moped analogy here? Cause this would be the perfect thread for it?!  ;D
Forgot about that one......Nice.  ;D
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: denny on March 04, 2010, 05:14:40 PM
Am I allowed to use the fat chick / moped analogy here? Cause this would be the perfect thread for it?!  ;D

No but you ARE allowed to use the fat guy homebrewer analogy!  ;)
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: weazletoe on March 04, 2010, 06:26:20 PM

No but you ARE allowed to use the fat guy homebrewer analogy!  ;)

I think I'll stick to mopeds...... :o
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: hamiltont on March 04, 2010, 07:22:20 PM
Getting things back on track here:  ;D

What goes around, comes around.   A motto I try to live by!!!
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: The Professor on March 04, 2010, 08:05:30 PM
Two of my favorites...one is food for thought, the other is a thought from a fool.


"Reality is merely and illusion, albeit a persistent one"
                                 --Albert Einstein


"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
                              --Ken Olson, president of Digital Equipment Corp. 1977
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: bluesman on March 04, 2010, 09:23:22 PM
Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day.

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.

Tomorrow always comes, and today is never yesterday.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: yugamrap on March 07, 2010, 01:49:26 AM
A few of my favorites, and where I learned or heard them

"Opinions are like asses...everyone has one, and most of 'em stink." - my dad

"The hardest part of any job is getting started."  - my grandfather

"Do what you wanna, do what you will, just don't mess up your neighbor's thrill" - Frank Zappa (a version of "live, and let live")

"He's so stupid, he's gotta take off a shoe to count past 10." - a guy I used to work with

"He's dumber than a box of rocks." - a family friend

Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: rabid_dingo on March 11, 2010, 05:46:42 AM
The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but there is no train coming...

"Pickle-washer!" (a great sub for a---ole, jerk, PITA...etc)

And one my Grandfather told me roughly translated: Jump in when there is a mud puddle.
Used by him when I was being modest. He had offered to buy me a snack or drink at a grocer...
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: dean on March 11, 2010, 02:15:13 PM
"Does a bear shat in the woods?"

In case anyone asks you that... the answer is "No, they shat in the road unless one is not available."   :D   (and they will go some distance out of their way to do it too... you might think its public restroom for them.)   :D 
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: brewboy on March 11, 2010, 03:01:03 PM
Quote
"Does a bear shat in the woods?"  

Does anyone, besides myself, think those Charmin commercials with the bears and the toilet paper, got started with that saying?

My wife doesn't.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: MrNate on March 11, 2010, 04:29:26 PM
Quote
"Does a bear shat in the woods?"  

Does anyone, besides myself, think those Charmin commercials with the bears and the toilet paper, got started with that saying?

My wife doesn't.

Oh, no doubt they did.

But because I like mixing my metaphors, my favorite version of that is, "Does the Pope sh*t in the woods?"
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: riverrat on March 11, 2010, 04:40:58 PM
Does a bear wear a funny hat?
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: bluesman on March 11, 2010, 04:47:14 PM
He's a few chocolate chips short of a chocolate chip cookie.

He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Do you have your brains in your a$$. - my father

Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: weazletoe on March 11, 2010, 09:44:05 PM
I guess you showed him where he bear sh** in the buckwheat.
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: ndcube on March 12, 2010, 07:54:05 PM
I'm built for comfort, not for speed.

Last time I heard that I was at a bar in New Orleans many years ago drinking something called a hand grenade. IIRC (and that's asking alot to recall that).
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: ndcube on March 12, 2010, 08:00:42 PM
My dad always said "If you gonna do a job, do it right or don't do it at all".
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: predeterminator on March 14, 2010, 07:54:42 PM
"Things are never so bad that they can't get worse"

"He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel"
 
"I have questions that need to be answered, and answers that need to be questioned"
Title: Re: Old Sayings - Cryptic Quotes
Post by: brewboy on March 15, 2010, 03:29:16 AM
Quote
He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel 

My wife and I both laughed over that one.