Homebrewers Association | AHA Forum
General Category => General Homebrew Discussion => Topic started by: IPAnic on March 15, 2016, 07:20:09 pm
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You're leaving on a trip and are upset about having to turn your blue mash tun into a cooler...
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You're leaving on a trip and are upset about having to turn your blue mash tun into a cooler...
All of my coolers are red... Mash tuns are blue :P
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...you have a designated alarm slot for brewing...
(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpshhb4lvtc.png)
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...you have a designated alarm slot for brewing...
(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpshhb4lvtc.png)
Efff that work one. Brew day happens whenever.
But I got that nap time down!
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... you're reading this thread.
Sorry, too obvious?
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....you wake in the middle of the night remembering a calculator error in your spreadsheet.
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your biggest concern about your daughters graduation is if you'll have beer ready for the reception.
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The weather guy mentions the coming Spring Equinox and it sends you into a daydream about new hop varieties.
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...you have a designated alarm slot for brewing...
(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpshhb4lvtc.png)
Nice. I like it.
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while perusing the bulk section of whole foods you start sampling the oats and barley ::)
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while perusing the bulk section of whole foods you start sampling the oats and barley ::)
Oh yeah...
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When making coffee you wonder how much water is absorbed by the grounds.
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When making coffee you wonder how much water is absorbed by the grounds.
and you check PH for perfect acidity ;D
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You are a habitual airlock sniffer.
When you come across random numbers in ounces and grams you immediately start to formulate a beer recipe in your head.
You get up in the middle of the night to check your fermentation and possibly move your fermenter to a cooler/warmer spot if needed.
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I was VERY surprised when my girlfriend informed me that she does NOT find the airlock blub blubs extremely relaxing...
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You make a cup of tea and feel like it's a mini BIAB.
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You refer to garnish on your food as a "flameout addition".
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You refer to garnish on your food as a "flameout addition".
NICE!
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Walking down the street you smell some marijuana and think "Hey that smells like hops..."
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You're rinsing the dog shampoo off of your dog and you feel like you're sparging.
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...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.
"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
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...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.
"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots
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...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.
"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots
Yeah. My Walmart has a terrible design flaw. Two spigots but can't fit two 5 gallon jugs in.
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...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.
"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots
Yeah. My Walmart has a terrible design flaw. Two spigots but can't fit two 5 gallon jugs in.
The stores I buy from (with low TDS water) have only one spigot on their machines, so customers really love me. I can fill 10 gallons in just under 5 minutes. Not much consolation for the people behind me, though. ;D
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Yeah, dont think I have had anyone waiting on me, just odd looks as people passed through the produce section. And dont even mention the employees coming out of the stock room right next to the machine
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...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.
"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots
Yeah. My Walmart has a terrible design flaw. Two spigots but can't fit two 5 gallon jugs in.
Bring some hose?
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...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.
"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots
Yeah. My Walmart has a terrible design flaw. Two spigots but can't fit two 5 gallon jugs in.
Bring some hose?
C'mon, who has extra hose sitting around? Oh wait a minute, what's the name of this thread?
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You wake up and check your fermentation before you make the coffee.
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...you check the extended weather forecast to see if you're okay to brew the lager that you have planned.
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You video the bloops and send it to your friends
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Just heard this one today on Basic Brewing Radio and lol'd:
"When your wife asks you to mash some potatoes, and you heat up some strike water."
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I was VERY surprised when my girlfriend informed me that she does NOT find the airlock blub blubs extremely relaxing...
Is there anything possibly more gratifying? I open fermented a saison recently and the lack of the "bulb blubs" was somewhat of a let down!
You might be a homebrewers if you know what (airlock) bulb blubs are!
Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk
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...you remember the other Michael Jackson was a singer....
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Your family name is Irish so you carry a pack of Irish Moss in your pocket for St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patty's Day and don't forget the wearing of the green. 8)
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..., you calibrate your homebrewing spreadsheet using Denny's NOTI Brown Ale.
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...you remember the other Michael Jackson was a singer....
This happened to me the other weekend at the Northwest Homebrew Conference. They announced a raffle prize winner as Michael Jackson (and supposedly it was a member of the OBC, but we weren't sure who it was) and my wife was like "Michael Jackson is in our club?" and I replied with "Michael Jackson the beer book author?" and she just looked perplexed and said "Thank you for busting out Michael Jackson the author...." Sadly I had forgotten in the context that Michael Jackson the author had passed away.
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The AHA forum is bookmarked on your laptop.
You get both Zymurgy and BYO in the mail.
You haven't bought commercial beer in a while.
Cheers Everyone! My Friday starts tonight... 8) ;D
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The AHA forum is bookmarked on every one of your laptops.
You get both Zymurgy and BYO in the mail.
You haven't bought commercial beer in a while.
Cheers Everyone! My Friday starts tonight... 8) ;D
Just one update to your list. ;D
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You drink a Guinness on Saint Patrick's Day and think to yourself "This is the BJCP Classic Example for Dry Irish Stout...."
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You drink a Guinness on Saint Patrick's Day and think to yourself "This is the BJCP Classic Example for Dry Irish Stout...."
Nice.
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...you've seen this 10000 times before....;)
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If your wife has to wear a sweater in the house all summer because "we can't let the ale get too hot"
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... You refer to your garage as your brew house.
... You schedule vacations around the need to rack, keg or bottle.
... Your vacations involve visiting as many microbreweries as possible.
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If in the middle of the night your wife suggests you check on the baby and you walk toward the garage with a stopwatch to time the fermenting airlock's BPM
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After one too many things like Quinoa Cream Ale and Kale Gruit, you foodie friends no longer tell you about the latest fad foods.
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.....your wife has an endless number of stories she tells at parties of coming home and finding beer on the kitchen floor, beer dripping out of a ceiling light fixture, beer soaked into the carpet, yada yada yada.
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You hide evidence of brewing from certain visiting friends. Otherwise they'll never leave....
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Your kids know what high krausen means. Or your son's name is Vorlauf.
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Your kids know what high krausen means. Or your son's name is Vorlauf.
Nice. Poor boy.
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Your kids know what high krausen means. Or your son's name is Vorlauf.
What if your daughter's name is Maris?
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You have multiple photos of your beer in full krausen on your phone to show your friends.
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You hear the first blub blubs and immediately exclaim: "Its ALIVE!"
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... Your vacations involve visiting as many microbreweries as possible.
I went back to North Carolina for the first time since moving to Oregon, and I wrote down my "Unique Beer" count on Untappd to check what it was when I got back... it was well over 100. A lot of taster trays, and a lot of single sips of someone else's but it counts!
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I don't know about "A Homebrewer If", but you're sure as hell addicted to this forum "if"...you look to see what time last posts were made by others so you can tell if you've read them 1st thing, at noonish, mid-afternoon or after dinner.
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You love that my black lab is named Cascade and know that she is NOT named after dishwasher detergent.
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... You write a dissertation and every name that you have to make anonymous becomes a hop name. Nobody on the panel questioned what a Simcoe School District was.
Sent from my iPhone using non Tapatalk
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Your kids know what high krausen means. Or your son's name is Vorlauf.
What if your daughter's name is Maris?
Maybe she otter change it......
:P
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You might be a homebrewer if you have 5 refrigerators/freezers and only one is used for food.
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You might be a homebrewer if you have 5 refrigerators/freezers and only one is used for food.
Ja I have six.
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You might be a home brewer if your idea of a DIY project is designing a new micro processor controlled stir plate and automating your gas burner to achieve just the right steeping temperature.
You might be a home brewer if you're adding a new kitchen sink and 240V line to one of your spare bedrooms.
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... you read the digital copy of Zymurgy cover to cover in preparation for reading the print copy of Zymurgy cover to cover before you put it in the back issue library, to read cover to cover sometime in the future.
... you have ever handed a bottle of homebrew to microbrewery employees and asked them to tell you whether or not you have an ugly baby.
... your internal voice routinely reacts to adversity with "Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew."
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.... Yakima Valley Hops hijacks this thread and uses your alarm clock schedule as the front of their Facebook post linking to this thread...
(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsbxvjfmxp.png)
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.... Yakima Valley Hops hijacks this thread and uses your alarm clock schedule as the front of their Facebook post linking to this thread...
(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsbxvjfmxp.png)
Priceless!
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You convince your wife that setting the house thermostat to 62F for a few days will be beneficial to your health - your fermenting re-pitched yeast health, that is....and she doesn't object or even think it is a strange request.