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General Category => General Homebrew Discussion => Topic started by: IPAnic on March 15, 2016, 07:20:09 pm

Title: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: IPAnic on March 15, 2016, 07:20:09 pm
You're leaving on a trip and are upset about having to turn your blue mash tun into a cooler...
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: fmader on March 15, 2016, 07:27:32 pm
You're leaving on a trip and are upset about having to turn your blue mash tun into a cooler...

All of my coolers are red... Mash tuns are blue  :P

Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: fmader on March 15, 2016, 07:29:20 pm
...you have a designated alarm slot for brewing...

(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpshhb4lvtc.png)
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Philbrew on March 15, 2016, 08:01:59 pm
...you have a designated alarm slot for brewing...

(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpshhb4lvtc.png)
Efff that work one.  Brew day happens whenever.
But I got that nap time down!
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: klickitat jim on March 16, 2016, 02:33:00 am
... you're reading this thread.

Sorry, too obvious?
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: RPIScotty on March 16, 2016, 02:50:48 am
....you wake in the middle of the night remembering a calculator error in your spreadsheet.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Slowbrew on March 16, 2016, 05:32:31 am
your biggest concern about your daughters graduation is if you'll have beer ready for the reception.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: HoosierBrew on March 16, 2016, 06:01:16 am
The weather guy mentions the coming Spring Equinox and it sends you into a daydream about new hop varieties.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: HoosierBrew on March 16, 2016, 06:07:35 am
...you have a designated alarm slot for brewing...

(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpshhb4lvtc.png)




Nice. I like it.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Wort-H.O.G. on March 16, 2016, 06:56:08 am
while perusing the bulk section of whole foods you start sampling the oats and barley   ::)
Title: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: RPIScotty on March 16, 2016, 07:05:11 am
while perusing the bulk section of whole foods you start sampling the oats and barley   ::)
Oh yeah...
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Iliff Ave on March 16, 2016, 07:42:39 am
When making coffee you wonder how much water is absorbed by the grounds.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Wort-H.O.G. on March 16, 2016, 07:45:37 am
When making coffee you wonder how much water is absorbed by the grounds.

and you check PH for perfect acidity  ;D
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: brewinhard on March 16, 2016, 09:02:12 am
You are a habitual airlock sniffer.

When you come across random numbers in ounces and grams you immediately start to formulate a beer recipe in your head.

You get up in the middle of the night to check your fermentation and possibly move your fermenter to a cooler/warmer spot if needed.

Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: homoeccentricus on March 16, 2016, 09:36:34 am
I was VERY surprised when my girlfriend informed me that she does NOT find the airlock blub blubs extremely relaxing...
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: HoosierBrew on March 16, 2016, 09:47:13 am
You make a cup of tea and feel like it's a mini BIAB.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: erockrph on March 16, 2016, 10:59:57 am
You refer to garnish on your food as a "flameout addition".
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: 69franx on March 16, 2016, 11:08:15 am
You refer to garnish on your food as a "flameout addition".
NICE!
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: ethinson on March 16, 2016, 12:06:36 pm
Walking down the street you smell some marijuana and think "Hey that smells like hops..."
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: HoosierBrew on March 16, 2016, 12:09:12 pm
You're rinsing the dog shampoo off of your dog and you feel like you're sparging.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: fmader on March 16, 2016, 12:16:10 pm
...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.

"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: 69franx on March 16, 2016, 12:29:48 pm
...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.

"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: fmader on March 16, 2016, 12:35:57 pm
...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.

"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots

Yeah. My Walmart has a terrible design flaw. Two spigots but can't fit two 5 gallon jugs in.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: HoosierBrew on March 16, 2016, 12:44:08 pm
...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.

"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots

Yeah. My Walmart has a terrible design flaw. Two spigots but can't fit two 5 gallon jugs in.


The stores I buy from (with low TDS water) have only one spigot on their machines, so customers really love me. I can fill 10 gallons in just under 5 minutes. Not much consolation for the people behind me, though.  ;D
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: 69franx on March 16, 2016, 12:45:44 pm
Yeah, dont think I have had anyone waiting on me, just odd looks as people passed through the produce section. And dont even mention the employees coming out of the stock room right next to the machine
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Joe Sr. on March 16, 2016, 12:49:21 pm
...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.

"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots

Yeah. My Walmart has a terrible design flaw. Two spigots but can't fit two 5 gallon jugs in.

Bring some hose?
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: 69franx on March 16, 2016, 01:04:40 pm
...A line forms behind at Wal-Mart while you're filling up 20 gallons of RO water at the filling station.

"Sorry... I only have about 13 more gallons to go!"
I get the strangest looks at Kroger walking in with 2, 3, or 4 5 gallon empty bottles, and stranger looks while filling 2 at a time. Love that store, all the others only have room for 1 bottle at a time, even if 2 spigots

Yeah. My Walmart has a terrible design flaw. Two spigots but can't fit two 5 gallon jugs in.

Bring some hose?

C'mon, who has extra hose sitting around? Oh wait a minute, what's the name of this thread?
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Borisdblade on March 16, 2016, 02:31:50 pm
You wake up and check your fermentation before you make the coffee.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Frankenbrew on March 16, 2016, 02:36:56 pm
...you check the extended weather forecast to see if you're okay to brew the lager that you have planned.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: crakers540 on March 16, 2016, 05:25:31 pm
You video the bloops and send it to your friends
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: erockrph on March 16, 2016, 06:54:01 pm
Just heard this one today on Basic Brewing Radio and lol'd:

"When your wife asks you to mash some potatoes, and you heat up some strike water."
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: cempt1 on March 16, 2016, 07:15:04 pm
I was VERY surprised when my girlfriend informed me that she does NOT find the airlock blub blubs extremely relaxing...
Is there anything possibly more gratifying? I open fermented a saison recently and the lack of the "bulb blubs" was somewhat of a let down!

You might be a homebrewers if you know what (airlock) bulb blubs are!

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Ale Farmer on March 16, 2016, 07:54:19 pm
...you remember the other Michael Jackson was a singer....
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: scrap iron on March 17, 2016, 07:51:20 am
Your family name is Irish so you carry a pack of Irish Moss in your pocket for St. Patrick's Day.                  Happy St. Patty's Day and don't forget the wearing of the green. 8)
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: RPIScotty on March 17, 2016, 11:57:52 am
..., you calibrate your homebrewing spreadsheet using Denny's NOTI Brown Ale.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: ethinson on March 17, 2016, 12:09:08 pm
...you remember the other Michael Jackson was a singer....

This happened to me the other weekend at the Northwest Homebrew Conference.  They announced a raffle prize winner as Michael Jackson (and supposedly it was a member of the OBC, but we weren't sure who it was) and my wife was like "Michael Jackson is in our club?" and I replied with "Michael Jackson the beer book author?" and she just looked perplexed and said "Thank you for busting out Michael Jackson the author...." Sadly I had forgotten in the context that Michael Jackson the author had passed away.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: brewinhard on March 17, 2016, 04:22:28 pm
The AHA forum is bookmarked on your laptop.

You get both Zymurgy and BYO in the mail.

You haven't bought commercial beer in a while.



Cheers Everyone! My Friday starts tonight... 8) ;D
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Slowbrew on March 18, 2016, 05:35:28 am
The AHA forum is bookmarked on every one of your laptops.

You get both Zymurgy and BYO in the mail.

You haven't bought commercial beer in a while.



Cheers Everyone! My Friday starts tonight... 8) ;D

Just one update to your list. ;D
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: ethinson on March 18, 2016, 12:19:38 pm
You drink a Guinness on Saint Patrick's Day and think to yourself "This is the BJCP Classic Example for Dry Irish Stout...."
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: brewinhard on March 18, 2016, 04:58:32 pm
You drink a Guinness on Saint Patrick's Day and think to yourself "This is the BJCP Classic Example for Dry Irish Stout...."

Nice.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: denny on March 19, 2016, 09:38:50 am
...you've seen this 10000 times before....;)
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: redneckbrewer on March 23, 2016, 05:42:23 am
If your wife has to wear a sweater in the house all summer because "we can't let the ale get too hot"
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Weavz on March 23, 2016, 05:53:08 am
... You refer to your garage as your brew house.

... You schedule vacations around the need to rack, keg or bottle.

... Your vacations involve visiting as many microbreweries as possible.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: genman on March 23, 2016, 08:38:10 am
If in the middle of the night your wife suggests you check on the baby and you walk toward the garage with a stopwatch to time the fermenting airlock's BPM
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: PrettyBeard on March 23, 2016, 09:01:57 am
After one too many things like Quinoa Cream Ale and Kale Gruit, you foodie friends no longer tell you about the latest fad foods.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: chumley on March 23, 2016, 09:05:52 am
.....your wife has an endless number of stories she tells at parties of coming home and finding beer on the kitchen floor, beer dripping out of a ceiling light fixture, beer soaked into the carpet, yada yada yada.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: euge on March 23, 2016, 10:51:48 am
You hide evidence of brewing from certain visiting friends. Otherwise they'll never leave....
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: amichuda on March 23, 2016, 11:39:23 am
Your kids know what high krausen means. Or your son's name is Vorlauf.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: brewinhard on March 23, 2016, 11:46:59 am
Your kids know what high krausen means. Or your son's name is Vorlauf.

Nice. Poor boy.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: joebrewing on March 23, 2016, 01:30:01 pm
Your kids know what high krausen means. Or your son's name is Vorlauf.

What if your daughter's name is Maris?
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Brendan Abbott on March 23, 2016, 04:32:01 pm
You have multiple photos of your beer in full krausen on your phone to show your friends.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: BEER_TIGGER on March 23, 2016, 04:41:11 pm
You hear the first blub blubs and immediately exclaim: "Its ALIVE!"
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: ethinson on March 23, 2016, 04:55:42 pm
... Your vacations involve visiting as many microbreweries as possible.

I went back to North Carolina for the first time since moving to Oregon, and I wrote down my "Unique Beer" count on Untappd to check what it was when I got back... it was well over 100.  A lot of taster trays, and a lot of single sips of someone else's but it counts!
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: Philbrew on March 24, 2016, 08:05:22 pm
I don't know about "A Homebrewer If", but you're sure as hell addicted to this forum "if"...you look to see what time last posts were made by others so you can tell if you've read them 1st thing, at noonish, mid-afternoon or after dinner.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: lindak on March 25, 2016, 04:18:20 am
You love that my black lab is named Cascade and know that she is NOT named after dishwasher detergent. 
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: joelv on March 25, 2016, 06:22:07 am
... You write a dissertation and every name that you have to make anonymous becomes a hop name. Nobody on the panel questioned what a Simcoe School District was.


Sent from my iPhone using non Tapatalk
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: RouxBroux on March 25, 2016, 07:22:53 am
Your kids know what high krausen means. Or your son's name is Vorlauf.

What if your daughter's name is Maris?
Maybe she otter change it......
 :P
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: jt240z on March 25, 2016, 08:20:09 am
You might be a homebrewer if you have 5 refrigerators/freezers and only one is used for food.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: euge on March 25, 2016, 08:21:14 am
You might be a homebrewer if you have 5 refrigerators/freezers and only one is used for food.

Ja I have six.
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: jt240z on March 25, 2016, 08:36:28 am
You might be a home brewer if your idea of a DIY project is designing a new micro processor controlled stir plate and automating your gas burner to achieve just the right steeping temperature.

You might be a home brewer if you're adding a new kitchen sink and 240V line to one of your spare bedrooms.

Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: genman on March 25, 2016, 11:24:32 am
... you read the digital copy of Zymurgy cover to cover in preparation for reading the print copy of Zymurgy cover to cover before you put it in the back issue library, to read cover to cover sometime in the future.

... you have ever handed a bottle of homebrew to microbrewery employees and asked them to tell you whether or not you have an ugly baby.

... your internal voice routinely reacts to adversity with "Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew."
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: fmader on March 25, 2016, 04:46:43 pm
.... Yakima Valley Hops hijacks this thread and uses your alarm clock schedule as the front of their Facebook post linking to this thread...

(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsbxvjfmxp.png)
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: klickitat jim on March 26, 2016, 03:44:23 am
.... Yakima Valley Hops hijacks this thread and uses your alarm clock schedule as the front of their Facebook post linking to this thread...

(http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s564/Frank_Mader/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsbxvjfmxp.png)
Priceless!
Title: Re: You Might Be A Homebrewer If....
Post by: ynotbrusum on March 28, 2016, 05:37:19 am
You convince your wife that setting the house thermostat to 62F for a few days will be beneficial to your health - your fermenting re-pitched yeast health, that is....and she doesn't object or even think it is a strange request.