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Other than Brewing => The Pub => Topic started by: tschmidlin on July 01, 2011, 06:11:27 PM

Title: Monster-in-law
Post by: tschmidlin on July 01, 2011, 06:11:27 PM
I had to share this one . . .  :o
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3668138/Rude-bride-feels-mum-in-laws-hate.html
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: Slowbrew on July 01, 2011, 06:32:42 PM
I can understand the Mother-in-law's complaints.  In my own family it was normally the new in-law being shocked by, what we call, the out-laws (i.e. my brothers and sisters).  We have always liked to have fun.  8^)

The comments by readers made me laugh.  They can basically be summed up with "GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"

Paul
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: tschmidlin on July 01, 2011, 07:09:36 PM
Some of the complaints may be reasonable, however much of it seems centered around food and sleeping.  The girl is diabetic (not mentioned in this article) which could account for that.  She also chastises the girl for talking about being diabetic, which seems rather relevant.

But to me the hilarity comes from the mother's absolute rudeness - akin to someone saying "don't use any f##king foul language around my f##king house".  You don't send an email like that, you could have a private conversation with her if it really mattered to you.  But the email seems far more rude than the girl's behavior.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: punatic on July 01, 2011, 07:11:10 PM
It would seem from the one reader's comments that diabetes causes bad manners.  There must be a diabetes epidemic!
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: tschmidlin on July 01, 2011, 08:14:06 PM
I'm not diabetic and I only know one person who is (that I know of), but low blood sugar can certainly lead to irritability and bad manners.  It seems less rude to eat something than to pass out at the table, but maybe I'm just not polite enough to get it. ;)
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: bonjour on July 01, 2011, 08:18:35 PM
I'm not diabetic and I only know one person who is (that I know of), but low blood sugar can certainly lead to irritability and bad manners.  It seems less rude to eat something than to pass out at the table, but maybe I'm just not polite enough to get it. ;)

I'll bet you know more than that  ;)

T2
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: Slowbrew on July 01, 2011, 08:33:44 PM
I know many people who are Type II diabetic.  None of them seem more irritable than others.  If people actively monitor and manage their blood sugar they can eat a bit of pretty much anything.

I wasn't trying to defend the M-I-L as it is quite rude to dis your future daughter in an email.  I'm guessing the young woman could have handled it better too.  We all had some rough edges when we were younger.  It's too bad it had to become a internet story and seems to demonstrate the idea that no one knows what you do on the interwebs.

Even my little (not so little anymore actually) monsters have learned to take a bit of what ever is offered.  Taste it and then refuse seconds.  We don't really stand on tradition when it comes to seconds at our house.  Guest can eat what they want, as much as they want, whenever they want.  They just need to be fast enough to beat the kids to the bowls.  8^)

Holidays at Mummie's should fun for this couple.

Paul
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: EHall on July 02, 2011, 04:24:39 AM
Does everyone have to be so f'n PC these days?! A little rudeness is refreshing.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: punatic on July 02, 2011, 04:31:57 AM
Manners are not PC.  Rudeness is not cool.

I try to live an easy-going life.  That's kind of the way of things here in Hawaii.  However, one thing that gets under my skin is bad manners - especially intentional rudeness.  I'm getting better at letting rudeness roll of off my back.  I mean it's a matter of letting someone else's actions control how I feel.  Not good.

As a Scout leader one of my areas of teaching is helping my Scouts to have good manners.  One cannot have good manners if one does not know what good manners are.  Then, if one chooses, one may have good manners, or not.

There was an interesting movie a few years ago called Blast From the Past.  It was about a man who was raised by his parents in a fallout shelter.  Some pretty funny stuff.  A quote from that movie that has always stuck with me is one I share with my Scouts,

"...He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn't know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?   ...I thought a 'gentleman' was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible."

Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: tschmidlin on July 02, 2011, 07:55:29 AM
I'll bet you know more than that  ;)
Like I said, that I know of. :) There's only one guy who talks to me about it.

None of them seem more irritable than others.  If people actively monitor and manage their blood sugar they can eat a bit of pretty much anything.

I wasn't trying to defend the M-I-L as it is quite rude to dis your future daughter in an email.  I'm guessing the young woman could have handled it better too.  We all had some rough edges when we were younger.  It's too bad it had to become a internet story and seems to demonstrate the idea that no one knows what you do on the interwebs.
Sorry, I wasn't trying to imply that diabetes = crankiness.  But if your sugar is crashing it can happen.  It may be that she's bad at managing her disease.  It may also be that she is just not that polite. ;D We don't really know, but either way the email was out of bounds.

I'm sure the whole thing is pretty embarrassing for everyone involved now.  Maybe they can both admit they were wrong and get over it.  And if the MIL wants to pay for finishing school, maybe the girl should go.  It would probably only help her career.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: tubercle on July 02, 2011, 12:54:26 PM
It's not what you say but how you say it.

 You can decline gracefully. If there is food you can't or won't eat then maybe you shouldn't, and a lot of people are in this situation. My wife is one of them (diabetic). A good host will let the guest know ahead of time the menu; "Hey, we're having boiled hog guts for supper!".

 This is gives the guest the opportunity to decline respectfully and descretely. A good host will accept this. The burden to act correctly is on both, the guest and the host.

 Same goes with "house rules". But if the girl want to sleep to noon, who cares? Everybody is brought up different.

 I would be glad if my future MIL worte me this kind if letter because i would like to know this attitude ahead of time.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: ccarlson on July 02, 2011, 02:45:45 PM
Oh, how many times I've thought about writing a letter similar to this.Cheers to someone who has the guts to say what needed to be said.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: denny on July 02, 2011, 03:19:55 PM
It may have needed to be said (and I'm still not sure of that), but it definitely didn't need to be said like that.  Like Carl said, "Rudeness is not cool".
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: jeffy on July 02, 2011, 06:40:08 PM
Manners are not PC.  Rudeness is not cool.

I try to live an easy-going life.  That's kind of the way of things here in Hawaii.  However, one thing that gets under my skin is bad manners - especially intentional rudeness.  I'm getting better at letting rudeness roll of off my back.  I mean it's a matter of letting someone else's actions control how I feel.  Not good.

As a Scout leader one of my areas of teaching is helping my Scouts to have good manners.  One cannot have good manners if one does not know what good manners are.  Then, if one chooses, one may have good manners, or not.

There was an interesting movie a few years ago called Blast From the Past.  It was about a man who was raised by his parents in a fallout shelter.  Some pretty funny stuff.  A quote from that movie that has always stuck with me is one I share with my Scouts,

"...He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn't know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?   ...I thought a 'gentleman' was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible."


But I seem to remember this from a previous post:

After the oncoming traffic cleared, the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy made a left turn.  As I accelerated away I yelled to the driver of the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy, "Hey Moonbeam, learn to use your F-ing turn signals or next time take the F-ing bus!"

Just sayin'
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: ccarlson on July 02, 2011, 08:14:03 PM
It may have needed to be said (and I'm still not sure of that), but it definitely didn't need to be said like that.  Like Carl said, "Rudeness is not cool".

Exactly why I said "similar" to that letter. It could have been stated better, but manners today are very much lacking in society, especially with our younger generation.  It was the very reason that I made a comment about using the F word be used at a professional meeting. No, kids were't going to be there, but if adults keep taking a lackadaisical attitude toward such things, how can we expect our kids to not do the same. I'm doing my best to raise my kids to show respect for adults as well as their peers. So far, they're doing pretty well, but they are young and have a ways to go.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: punatic on July 02, 2011, 08:45:15 PM
Manners are not PC.  Rudeness is not cool.

I try to live an easy-going life.  That's kind of the way of things here in Hawaii.  However, one thing that gets under my skin is bad manners - especially intentional rudeness.  I'm getting better at letting rudeness roll of off my back.  I mean it's a matter of letting someone else's actions control how I feel.  Not good.

As a Scout leader one of my areas of teaching is helping my Scouts to have good manners.  One cannot have good manners if one does not know what good manners are.  Then, if one chooses, one may have good manners, or not.
There was an interesting movie a few years ago called Blast From the Past.  It was about a man who was raised by his parents in a fallout shelter.  Some pretty funny stuff.  A quote from that movie that has always stuck with me is one I share with my Scouts,

"...He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn't know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?   ...I thought a 'gentleman' was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible."


But I seem to remember this from a previous post:

After the oncoming traffic cleared, the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy made a left turn.  As I accelerated away I yelled to the driver of the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy, "Hey Moonbeam, learn to use your F-ing turn signals or next time take the F-ing bus!"

Just sayin'


That day I let Moonbeam's actions control my feelings - and, I chose not.  I'm still working on being perfect.  

I know of only one man who was perfect.

It's interesting that you would dig that deep to make a point Jeff.  Perhaps your point is don't justfy bad behavior by pointing to other bad behavior?
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: tubercle on July 02, 2011, 09:17:07 PM
Manners are not PC.  Rudeness is not cool.

I try to live an easy-going life.  That's kind of the way of things here in Hawaii.  However, one thing that gets under my skin is bad manners - especially intentional rudeness.  I'm getting better at letting rudeness roll of off my back.  I mean it's a matter of letting someone else's actions control how I feel.  Not good.

As a Scout leader one of my areas of teaching is helping my Scouts to have good manners.  One cannot have good manners if one does not know what good manners are.  Then, if one chooses, one may have good manners, or not.
There was an interesting movie a few years ago called Blast From the Past.  It was about a man who was raised by his parents in a fallout shelter.  Some pretty funny stuff.  A quote from that movie that has always stuck with me is one I share with my Scouts,

"...He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn't know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?   ...I thought a 'gentleman' was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible."


But I seem to remember this from a previous post:

After the oncoming traffic cleared, the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy made a left turn.  As I accelerated away I yelled to the driver of the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy, "Hey Moonbeam, learn to use your F-ing turn signals or next time take the F-ing bus!"

Just sayin'


That day I let Moonbeam's actions control my feelings - and, I chose not.  I'm still working on being perfect.  

I know of only one man who was perfect.

It's interesting that you would dig that deep to make a point Jeff.  Perhaps your point is don't justfy bad behavior by pointing to other bad behavior?

 Brewing brothers...let's not go there. Just let it go.

 Just come to S.C. and enjoy a little southern hospitality. Manners are still alive here and we constantly fight the rudeness of the imports, but we shall prevail.


  Sit a spell...take your shoes off. 
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: jeffy on July 02, 2011, 09:20:36 PM
Manners are not PC.  Rudeness is not cool.

I try to live an easy-going life.  That's kind of the way of things here in Hawaii.  However, one thing that gets under my skin is bad manners - especially intentional rudeness.  I'm getting better at letting rudeness roll of off my back.  I mean it's a matter of letting someone else's actions control how I feel.  Not good.

As a Scout leader one of my areas of teaching is helping my Scouts to have good manners.  One cannot have good manners if one does not know what good manners are.  Then, if one chooses, one may have good manners, or not.
There was an interesting movie a few years ago called Blast From the Past.  It was about a man who was raised by his parents in a fallout shelter.  Some pretty funny stuff.  A quote from that movie that has always stuck with me is one I share with my Scouts,

"...He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn't know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?   ...I thought a 'gentleman' was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible."


But I seem to remember this from a previous post:

After the oncoming traffic cleared, the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy made a left turn.  As I accelerated away I yelled to the driver of the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy, "Hey Moonbeam, learn to use your F-ing turn signals or next time take the F-ing bus!"

Just sayin'


That day I let Moonbeam's actions control my feelings - and, I chose not.  I'm still working on being perfect.  

I know of only one man who was perfect.

It's interesting that you would dig that deep to make a point Jeff.  Perhaps your point is don't justfy bad behavior by pointing to other bad behavior?
Not such a stretch, really, to dig up that post.  I remember it well because of the comments it generated.  Stay calm, my friend.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: tschmidlin on July 02, 2011, 09:27:31 PM
Brewing brothers...let's not go there. Just let it go.

 Just come to S.C. and enjoy a little southern hospitality. Manners are still alive here and we constantly fight the rudeness of the imports, but we shall prevail.


  Sit a spell...take your shoes off. 
A good message tubercle, but you realize you are inviting rude imports to come visit, right? ;D
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: tubercle on July 02, 2011, 09:38:02 PM
Brewing brothers...let's not go there. Just let it go.

 Just come to S.C. and enjoy a little southern hospitality. Manners are still alive here and we constantly fight the rudeness of the imports, but we shall prevail.


  Sit a spell...take your shoes off. 
A good message tubercle, but you realize you are inviting rude imports to come visit, right? ;D

 I guess so :P

 But, after they get a dose of what its like, the world will a better place ;D
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: ccarlson on July 02, 2011, 09:38:25 PM
None of us are perfect. Lord knows I'm not.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: jeffy on July 02, 2011, 09:55:15 PM
None of us are is perfect. Lord knows I'm not.
Sorry, but I couldn't help it.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: tschmidlin on July 02, 2011, 10:08:45 PM
None of us are is perfect. Lord knows I'm not.
Sorry, but I couldn't help it.
It could go either way in this case, both are acceptable.   :-*  :D
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: bluesman on July 03, 2011, 04:19:26 AM
Is there a universal set of rules by which we can all live by?   I doubt it.

Do we all act accordingly around the dinner table?  That depends.

Rudeness is subjective. I think we can all agree that respect is admired and earned. I for one hope that I can get the respect that is deserved to me by others.

This case is an embarrassment to the entire family IMO. The MIL acted out in a way that was disrepectful. IMO...and the DIL stepped it up one more notch by making open to the public. What a discrace for all parties involved in this case.

Frankly, I find it entertaining.  :)

Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: punatic on July 03, 2011, 04:34:17 AM
Not such a stretch, really, to dig up that post.  I remember it well because of the comments it generated.  Stay calm, my friend.

Perhaps things may be a bit clearer if the quote you are just sayin' about is viewed in context. 

The comments it generated were in refernce to: Bumper Stickers (http://www.homebrewersassociation.org/forum/index.php?topic=7474.0)
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: narvin on July 03, 2011, 04:36:36 AM
To be even clearer, some of the responses in that thread were probably written before others were edited and/or deleted by moderators.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: ccarlson on July 03, 2011, 04:38:57 AM
None of us are is perfect. Lord knows I'm not.
Sorry, but I couldn't help it.
It could go either way in this case, both are acceptable.   :-*  :D

I have to agree with Jeffy, "none" is singular so "is"  would be correct. Back to me not being perfect, but I try.   ;D
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: narvin on July 03, 2011, 04:43:22 AM
Grammar is fun!  In my extremely humble opinion, none is plural in this case because it does refer to more than one instance of us.

—Usage note
Since none  has the meanings “not one” and “not any,” some insist that it always be treated as a singular and be followed by a singular verb: The rescue party searched for survivors, but none was found.  However, none  has been used with both singular and plural verbs since the 9th century. When the sense is “not any persons or things” (as in the example above), the plural is more common: … none were found.  Only when none  is clearly intended to mean “not one” or “not any” is it followed by a singular verb: Of all my articles, none has received more acclaim than my latest one.
Title: Re: Monster-in-law
Post by: oscarvan on July 04, 2011, 01:29:26 AM
Aaaah, having juggled kids and grand parents and in-laws and outlaws......I agree with whoMever said it....

"It's not so much what you say, it's how you say it."

And when I'm cooking I always ask "Anything you do or do not like or can or cannot eat?"

Thursday friends are coming over. No pork and one vegetarian. No problem.