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Messages - Slowbrew

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1231
All Things Food / Re: Growing food - The Garden Thread
« on: March 15, 2012, 08:19:02 AM »
I no longer have place for a garden but back when I did I'd plan my onions very shallow and cover them in a thick layer of grass clippings.  We have very heavy soil and it doesn't work well for bulbs, tubers or anything harvested from under ground.  By the end of the growing season the onions were all above ground but under 5-6" of grass clippings.  Worked great for many years.

Paul

1232
Other Fermentables / Re: Acid in cider
« on: March 14, 2012, 02:44:56 PM »
Wow, 40 is a really good score! you can add any off those acids you mentioned, just not LSD, the dose would to high by the time you got your desired tartness level. 8)

But just think about how many more things he could experience in his cider.   8)

Paul

1233
The Pub / Re: AHA joke thread
« on: March 14, 2012, 02:42:25 PM »
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought
she might need a hearing aid.
 
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss
the problem.
 
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what
you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal
conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet,
then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
 
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the
den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
 
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
 
No response.
 
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and
repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
 
Still no response.
 
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife
and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
 
Again he gets no response.
 
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for
dinner?"
 
Again there is no response.
 
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
 
(I just love this)
 
"Ralph, for the *FIFTH* damn time, CHICKEN!"

________________

Okay, I'm done.

Paul

1234
The Pub / Re: AHA joke thread
« on: March 14, 2012, 02:25:33 PM »
Cowboy And The Genie
 
 
A cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.  His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
 
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
 
"Well, cowboy," says the genie. "You know how I work ....You have three wishes."
 
"I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy.  "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie."
 
"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"
 
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
"OK! I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink"
 
***POOF***
 
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
 
"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."
 
"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."
 
***POOF***
 
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
 
"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
 
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says..."I wish that no matter where I go, I will be surrounded by beautiful women who will want and need me."
 
***POOF***
 
He was turned into a tampon.
 
The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached

1235
All Grain Brewing / Re: repeated stuck mashes
« on: March 14, 2012, 02:01:32 PM »
I may be over simplifying but can you fit a piece of 1/2" copper pipe in there? If you have some laying around I mean.  You won't compress that.

Paul

1236
The Pub / Re: AHA joke thread
« on: March 14, 2012, 12:49:17 PM »
A man was out flying in his hot air balloon and an unexpected storm came in.  The winds were very strong and their was no way to land the craft so he was forced to ride it out. 

Once the storm was past and the man had his balloon under control again he needed to find out where he was.  He spied a man standing in a clearing and descended close enough to ask where he was.  When he got close enough he yelled to the man and asked where he was?  The man replied "You are in a hot air balloon approximately 100 feet off the ground. 

The man in the balloon thanked the man on the ground for his help and asked if he was a Microsoft Systems Engineer?  The man on the ground was astounded and replied "why yes, yes I am.  How did you know?"  The man in the balloon yelled back "because I asked you a simple question you gave an accurate and exacting answer that didn't help me at all".


Sorry, old sys admin jokes.  Paul

1237
It's probably a bit green yet and will mellow out in a couple more weeks.  If you served it really cold, that will accentuate the bitterness of the beer too.

Give it another week (or two) to finish carbonating and let it warm a bit closer to 45* before you taste it.  It will change a lot over a couple of weeks.

Keep yourself busy by making your second and third batches.   ;)

Paul

1238
... you install new shelves in the shop "to get some tools off the floor".  After sorting and organizing you realize the tools are all still on the floor but your brewing gear now all neatly on the shelving.

In addition you also notice that you still don't have enough room for all you brewing toys.

Paul

1239
When a package arrives and no one knows what it's for but they automatically put in your brewing area because "It's for Dad, it's probably for his brewery".

Paul

Mine go even one better.  When a package arrives, they call me at work and ask if there's anything in the box that needs to go in the fridge/freezer

I need to tell them they've been one up-ed.   ;D

1240
Not brewing this weekend.  May bottle a wheat I made last Saturday.  It depends on where the batch has gotten to.  I have next week off for Spring Break in Des Moines.  I'm planning on doing a couple of batches next week but haven't decided what yet.

This weekend's project is to finally vent the upstairs bathroom out through the roof.  If a gust of wind catches me off guard, it's been nice visiting with you.   I'll be working three stories up. ;)

Other than that, a keg blew last night so my cleaning pile is growing again.

Paul

1241
When a package arrives and no one knows what it's for but they automatically put in your brewing area because "It's for Dad, it's probably for his brewery".

Paul

1242
Ingredients / Re: does rye malt always have a gray-blueish tint to it?
« on: March 14, 2012, 08:28:39 AM »
That's what all the rye I've ever used has looked like.

Paul

1243
General Homebrew Discussion / Re: new to AHA - where does one start?
« on: March 13, 2012, 09:00:53 AM »
Zymurgy was enough to justify the dues for me.  I read a lot and appreciate the focus the mag has.

I've never used the pub discounts but that's more because of the kid's schedules than me not wanting to.

This forum is a great resource and, while you don't have to be a member to be on it, I like the idea that I'm helping to support it.

Paul

1244
The Pub / Re: AHA joke thread
« on: March 12, 2012, 02:15:25 PM »
Murphy lay in hospital covered in bandages head to foot - with just two little slits for his eyes.

'What happened to you?' asked Cassidy.

'I staggered out of the pub and a lorry hit me a glancing blow and knocked me through a plate glass window.'

'Begod,' said Cassidy. 'It's a good job you were wearing those bandages or you'd have been cut to ribbons!'

1245
Equipment and Software / Re: Cork-lined caps
« on: March 12, 2012, 01:44:06 PM »
My mother-in-law offered me a bag of those a couple years back.  The ones she had were from the mid-70's.  The ones you have could be quite old.

Paul

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