Wow, that's putting a lot of thought into your beer drinking . I pretty much go with what tastes best while I'm cooking, what goes best with dinner and then I do enjoy a Trappist ale while I do dishes.
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The easiest one in my opinion is the Ferrari Champagne corker.We bought a Ferrari years ago for bottling wine, it's ery easily adapted for corking beer.
OKI got it at the Albertsons grocery store in Carlsbad NM. It's sad but that's the closest thing to a decent beer store for 150 miles.
Where are you guys finding Noble Pils?