How about we set up an AHA Experimental Weight Loss Group, and we worship Drew as our Guru and Deity, and we pray to Him for guidance? And we make a pledge to lose x amount of weight through scientifically sound experimental methods. E.g., the first week we only eat bananas and after that week we measure the collective weight loss. Second week, only quinoa and Brussels sprouts, and we measure again, etcetera and so forth.
Couldn't we just do liposuction instead?