Author Topic: Season's Greetings......  (Read 3825 times)

Offline oscarvan

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Season's Greetings......
« on: December 20, 2011, 06:08:04 AM »
Good morning/afternoon/evening,

I wanted to send some sort of
holiday greeting to friends and family, but it is difficult in today's
world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met
with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following :

Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress ,
non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious
persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the
religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or
their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all .

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the
calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make our country great ( not to imply that the United States is
necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
preference of the wishee .

By accepting this greeting, please be advised that you are accepting
these terms : This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable on the proviso that there is no alteration
to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to
actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is
void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion
of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the
usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until
the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher .

Best Regards ( without prejudice )
Name withheld ( Privacy Act )
« Last Edit: December 20, 2011, 06:32:03 AM by oscarvan »
Wooden Shoe Brew Works (not a commercial operation) Bethlehem, PA
http://www.woodenshoemusic.com/WSBW/WSBW_All_grain_Setup.html
I brew WITH style..... not necessarily TO style.....

Offline bo

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2011, 06:11:12 AM »
Merry Christmas

Offline pinnah

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2011, 06:24:29 AM »
 ;D, Thanks for being so respectful.

Soooo, are you in the Southern Hemisphere now?

I am looking forward to the tilting point
and the end of the longest day of the year
but we call it Winter Solstice up here. ;)


Cheers.

Offline oscarvan

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2011, 06:31:42 AM »
Oopsie.....have to fix that. Darn lawyers.
Wooden Shoe Brew Works (not a commercial operation) Bethlehem, PA
http://www.woodenshoemusic.com/WSBW/WSBW_All_grain_Setup.html
I brew WITH style..... not necessarily TO style.....

Offline bluesman

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2011, 07:47:38 AM »
Looks like that about covers it.  ;)

Ron Price

Offline punatic

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2011, 08:01:50 AM »

I am looking forward to the tilting point
and the end of the longest day of the year
but we call it Winter Solstice up here. ;)


05:30 22-12-2011 UTC

Prepare the virgins!
There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way.


AHA Life Member #33907

Offline bluesman

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2011, 10:43:51 AM »

I am looking forward to the tilting point
and the end of the longest day of the year
but we call it Winter Solstice up here. ;)


05:30 22-12-2011 UTC

Prepare the virgins!


 :D
Ron Price

Offline Slowbrew

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2011, 11:15:53 AM »
'cuz it's my way or the highway,   Merry Christmas!!!.

I can say whatever I want, how you choose to hear it is up to you.   ;D

Make sure you cover allyour bases in you signature line too.

This e-mail is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies. Beware of greeks bearing gifts. Beware of gifts bearing greeks. This side up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't take candy from strangers. Void where prohibited. Caveat Emptor (Buyer beware) Caveat Vendor (Beware of street people). Donde esta el bano. Beware of DOS. Look both ways before crossing the street. Always wear safety belt. Always wear deodorant. Don't forget to breathe. If you park, don't drink...accidents cause people. This supersedes all previous notices. This disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.

Paul
Where the heck are we going?  And what's with this hand basket?

Offline eltharyon

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2011, 11:30:57 AM »
I think I have broken at least one of those today....

Offline bo

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2011, 11:34:41 AM »
'cuz it's my way or the highway,   Merry Christmas!!!.

I can say whatever I want, how you choose to hear it is up to you.   ;D

Make sure you cover allyour bases in you signature line too.

This e-mail is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies. Beware of greeks bearing gifts. Beware of gifts bearing greeks. This side up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't take candy from strangers. Void where prohibited. Caveat Emptor (Buyer beware) Caveat Vendor (Beware of street people). Donde esta el bano. Beware of DOS. Look both ways before crossing the street. Always wear safety belt. Always wear deodorant. Don't forget to breathe. If you park, don't drink...accidents cause people. This supersedes all previous notices. This disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.

Paul

I may have missed it, but I thinking the following 2 statements are missing.

1. May contain nuts or nut byproducts.

2. This cup contains a hot liquid which can resulting in scalding if spilled.

Offline majorvices

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2011, 11:52:14 AM »
You guys are crakIn me up. Or maybe it's the beer.
Keith Y.
Self appointed "All Grain" section pruner

Offline beersk

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2011, 12:02:40 PM »
Happy Winter Solstice, the original winter celebration.
Watch out for those Cross Dressing Amateurs!

Online morticaixavier

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #12 on: December 20, 2011, 01:51:38 PM »
Happy Winter Solstice, the original winter celebration.

THE SUN IS GOING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Wait... never mind ::)
"Creativity is the residue of wasted time" - A. Einstein

Jonathan I Fuller

Offline beersk

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #13 on: December 20, 2011, 02:12:10 PM »
Happy Winter Solstice, the original winter celebration.

THE SUN IS GOING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Wait... never mind ::)
I was being more or less tongue & cheek with that statement.  I get annoyed at people who assert one over the other.  What does it matter? Holiday cheer is all that matters, spread the love, not the divisive attitude of, "No it's this! Not that!"
Watch out for those Cross Dressing Amateurs!

Online morticaixavier

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Re: Season's Greetings......
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2011, 02:39:42 PM »
Happy Winter Solstice, the original winter celebration.

THE SUN IS GOING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Wait... never mind ::)
I was being more or less tongue & cheek with that statement.  I get annoyed at people who assert one over the other.  What does it matter? Holiday cheer is all that matters, spread the love, not the divisive attitude of, "No it's this! Not that!"

Here here! I meant nothing disrespectful. I was born and raised a naked pagan baby but always loved christmas with the grandparents and chanukah with the in laws and kwanzaa at the hippy day care (a place where very stoned people can get adult supervision?). I have never celebrated ramadan but then it's not so much a celebratory event as I understand it.  And I always celebrate with heavy metal carols!
"Creativity is the residue of wasted time" - A. Einstein

Jonathan I Fuller