Author Topic: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum  (Read 13387 times)

Offline morticaixavier

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MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« on: January 16, 2012, 11:17:53 AM »
I have been on here for a couple years now so this is pretty belated but I couldn't think of a clever and pithy way to put it till now. so here goes

Definitions
   Jonathan Fuller = "Computer programmer"
   Redefine Jonathan Fuller AS Jonathan Vittum = "Actor/Director/Writer"
   Redefine Jonathan Vittum AS MorticaiXavier = "Brewer/crazy person"

Initialize
   Set Year = 1996
   Set Location = "Starksboro, VT"
   Set Extract Kit Count = 0
   Try to brew mead = "Fail"
   Give up
   Wait 7 Years
   Set Location = "Burlington, VT"

   Fall in love
   Set Location = "Dorchester, MA"
   Set Married = "1"
   Decide beer might be easier
   Brew Alton Brown Pale ale recipe
   Impression = "LIKE!!"

   Do While Imression = "LIKE!!"
    and Satisfaction = high value
       Brew more kits
       Add 1 to Extract Kits Count
       Drink more beers
       Work too much
       If Extract Kits Count = 3
         Set Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction With Extract Kits - 1
       If Satisfaction With Extract Kits = Satisfaction - 1
          Set Satisfaction = Satisfaction With Extract Kits
       Wait 2 Months
   End Do

   Set Location = "Oakland, CA"
   Set Extract = "0"
   Set All Grain = "1"
   Year = 2009
   Brew Belgian Pale Ale
   Impression = "OKAY"
   Set All Grain Count = 1

   Set Location = "Vacaville, CA"
   Set Wife = "Pregnant"
   Year = 2010
   Set Jonathan Fuller = Jonathan Fuller || "Member AHA"
   Set All Grain Count = 2
   Set Club = "Green Belt Brewers Association"
   Join Club

   Set Wife = "Giving Birth"
   Set Baby = "Donald William Dean Fuller"
   Set Sleep Hours = 3
   Wait 3 Months
  
   Set Equipment = "Plastic Bucket + Grain Bag"
   Brew Lagunitas IPA Clone
      Redefine Lagunitas IPA Clone AS Midwifes IPA
   Impression = "LIKE"

   Set Equipment = "Denny Tun"

   Set Annual = 1
   Brew Annual||"st" Sweet William Barley Wine
   Impression = "NEEDS TIME"

   Set Location = "Davis, CA"
   Do While Impression <> "CAN NEVER DO BETTER THAN THIS"
      Watch Baby
      Baby Impression = "Amazing"
      Work
      Plan more brews
      If Big Beer Bug = "Biting"
         Brew Parti Gyle
      Else
         Brew
      Wait 1 month
      Set Satisfaction= "Could Do Better"
   End Do.


Baby Impression = "Amazing"
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Brewing Impression = "Best Hobby Ever"

Well there it is, clear as Russian Imperial Stout.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2012, 11:20:45 AM by morticaixavier »
"Creativity is the residue of wasted time" - A. Einstein

Jonathan I Fuller

Offline Mark G

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2012, 11:34:50 AM »
Well done! And I'm not even a computer guy.
Mark Gres

Offline tschmidlin

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2012, 12:25:56 PM »
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"
Tom Schmidlin

Offline morticaixavier

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2012, 01:09:47 PM »
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator ;D
"Creativity is the residue of wasted time" - A. Einstein

Jonathan I Fuller

Offline hokerer

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2012, 01:17:40 PM »
Dang, first time in all this time that I noticed it's morticai and not morticia.  I've had Addams Family in the back of my mind all along.
Joe

Offline morticaixavier

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2012, 02:30:41 PM »
Dang, first time in all this time that I noticed it's morticai and not morticia.  I've had Addams Family in the back of my mind all along.

**duh duh dump click click**

I don't look anywhere near that good in a black slinky dress.
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Jonathan I Fuller

Offline tschmidlin

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2012, 09:10:59 PM »
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator ;D
In perl, || is or, && is and. ;D
Tom Schmidlin

Offline phillamb168

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2012, 02:27:34 AM »

   Set Married = "1"


How does your wife feel about that value being a string and not boolean? TRUE FALSE!  ;D
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Offline morticaixavier

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2012, 08:26:50 AM »

   Set Married = "1"


How does your wife feel about that value being a string and not boolean? TRUE FALSE!  ;D

Ha! she would not be happy, let's change that to Married = B"1" (TRUE)
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Jonathan I Fuller

Offline mtnrockhopper

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2012, 11:52:23 AM »
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator ;D
In perl, || is or, && is and. ;D
|| is concatentate in Oracle SQL only.
Jimmy K

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Offline mtnrockhopper

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2012, 11:53:04 AM »
And this was pretty funny.
Jimmy K

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Offline morticaixavier

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2012, 02:13:17 PM »
Wife = "Beautiful" || "Understanding" || "Love of my life"
Nice :)  But shouldn't that be:
Wife = "Beautiful" && "Understanding" && "Love of my life"

syntax disagreement. SQL as I learned it uses || as concatenate operator ;D
In perl, || is or, && is and. ;D
|| is concatentate in Oracle SQL only.

It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong ;D
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Jonathan I Fuller

Offline tschmidlin

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2012, 02:35:34 PM »
It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong ;D
Doesn't that mean
Wife = "BeautifulUnderstandingLove of my life"

You need some spaces and commas in there ;)
Tom Schmidlin

Offline morticaixavier

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2012, 02:14:36 PM »
It's concat in DB2, iSeries SQL/400 as well. In fact, given that the IBM SQL is the benchmark and one of the original players in setting up the conventions, one might say that || = concat is the only correct usage in the SQL world and everyone else is doing it wrong ;D
Doesn't that mean
Wife = "BeautifulUnderstandingLove of my life"

You need some spaces and commas in there ;)

geesh your worse than the users. you just gotta have everything perfect.. ;D

okay try this Wife = "Beautiful, "||"Undertanding "||"Love of my life"
"Creativity is the residue of wasted time" - A. Einstein

Jonathan I Fuller

Offline pinnah

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Re: MorticaiXavier AKA Jonathan Fuller AKA Jonathan Vittum
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2012, 03:07:13 PM »
 :), Interesting format.

I am kind of glad I have almost no idea what you people are talking about.....but

your stage name is Morticai and you named your kid Don? :o