[phillamb168]

A good friend is having a wedding in a few months, and is a big beer fan. He also knows a decent number of brewers, but when I asked about brewing, he told me he'd rather go with someone he knows than a friend, because 'what if it gets screwed up...' The guy he's going with, the pro brewer, almost lost his business because of infection issues. He will also probably charge an arm and a leg for several HL of beer plus bottles plus time plus everything, whereas I wouldn't charge anything. Anybody else have this happen before? It's a bit of a punch below the belt for me :-/

[corkybstewart]

I wouldn't let it bother me.  In fact I try to avoid getting tangled in situations like that.  My job doesn't allow me to be very dependable when it comes to having X amount of beer ready to go on Y day.  If I have beer ready I'll offer it as an addition to whatever else is being served.

[dbeechum]

yeesh, that's a tough one.

At the start you want to give your friend the ole flying V for being at best an insensitive clod, but then people get weird and stressed out over the whole wedding thing

In my book, its hurtful, but one of those punches we have to take in life. (Besides, if the beer sucks, then you get the pleasure of schadenfreude.

[phillamb168]

Thanks Drew... I do like me some schadenfreude. I guess from my perspective it's weird to get so caught up in the 'wedding must be perfect' thing. For our wedding, we booked the town event center (salle des fetes), bought a bunch of pre-made sandwiches and petit fours from the grocery store, a ton of wine, made the salads ourselves, and hired a (really awesome) local django-style jazz band. My best man was in the emergency room the night before because of a newly-discovered allergy, he hadn't been able to drink for nearly two days because something was stuck in his throat... Luckily it passed the morning of the wedding, we got hitched (I screwed up the french version of "I do," oops - lots more words for that one - and then we all drank a bit too much. We all went home at midnight.

My buddy's wedding, on the other hand, is probably going to be in a chalet in the Alps. Difference of perspective, I guess.

Edit to say, I am considering packing a couple cornies anyway, and putting them in a corner with a tap, just to see what gets poured the most.

[hamiltont]

Might just be his bride and or future MIL talking too. Something like "Everything HAS to be perfect so we are not cutting any corners. Only the best."  And in some people's mind only the best means the most expensive. Look at it this way. You don't have to worry about a thing so you can just enjoy the occasion. Cheers!!!

[majorvices]

yeesh, that's a tough one.

At the start you want to give your friend the ole flying V for being at best an insensitive clod, but then people get weird and stressed out over the whole wedding thing

In my book, its hurtful, but one of those punches we have to take in life. (Besides, if the beer sucks, then you get the pleasure of schadenfreude.

Well said!

There are two situations I refuse to get offended over: weddings and newborn babies. People get weird about those topics and I don't think many of their decisions are ever logically thought out or intended as insults. But I understand why it feels like a snub.

[weithman5]

why are you letting a friend get married?

[bluesman]

Eventhough I know it's like an insult to you...I would look at the bright side and realize that it's less effort and cost for you. You can now sit back, relax and enjoy yourself. I would secretly bring a keg of your best effort and serve it as a special "gift" for your freind and the guests. Maybe you'll "show up" the pro brewer. 

[tschmidlin]

yeesh, that's a tough one.

At the start you want to give your friend the ole flying V for being at best an insensitive clod, but then people get weird and stressed out over the whole wedding thing

In my book, its hurtful, but one of those punches we have to take in life. (Besides, if the beer sucks, then you get the pleasure of schadenfreude.

Well said!

There are two situations I refuse to get offended over: weddings and newborn babies. People get weird about those topics and I don't think many of their decisions are ever logically thought out or intended as insults. But I understand why it feels like a snub.

My sentiments exactly.

If you bring kegs I would serve them the night before - it still might show up the pro, but it is a bit less passive aggressive.

It's their wedding, it's not about you.

[phillamb168]

It's their wedding, it's not about you.

Dude, of course it's not about me, but it's not going to be easy to let it roll off that easy, either - you ask someone if you can make a couple kegs of beer for the party, and they say "No, I'd rather spend way too much money so that someone I barely know can make a beer he doesn't care about?" The way I see it, it's like if my wife's uncle, who is an amateur woodworker but pretty damn good at it, offered to build us a baby bed and we said no, we'd rather buy it from Ikea.

[hopfenundmalz]

It's their wedding, it's not about you.

Dude, of course it's not about me, but it's not going to be easy to let it roll off that easy, either - you ask someone if you can make a couple kegs of beer for the party, and they say "No, I'd rather spend way too much money so that someone I barely know can make a beer he doesn't care about?" The way I see it, it's like if my wife's uncle, who is an amateur woodworker but pretty damn good at it, offered to build us a baby bed and we said no, we'd rather buy it from Ikea.

Maybe you really like black press board furniture?

Just enjoy the wedding.  Other have given good suggestions.  If your beer was selected, you would be to busy to just enjoy the day.

Edit - judge the pros beer and see what you like don't like.  Compare to what you would have made.  Gives you some data and talking points if it ever comes up later.  I still say enjoy the day.

[Kit B]

Supply the beer for the bachelor party, instead.
That's where it counts more, anyway, right!?

[bluesman]

Supply the beer for the bachelor party, instead.
That's where it counts more, anyway, right!?

+1

Even better.

[dbeechum]

I really like that idea. Everyone gets to be happy!

[tubercle]

If he is a true "good friend" let it go. Think long term.

 I would go and drink all the beer I could that he paid for.