Author Topic: AHA joke thread  (Read 12357 times)

Offline majorvices

  • Global Moderator
  • Official Poobah of No Life.
  • *****
  • Posts: 6301
  • Polka. If its too loud you're too young.
    • View Profile
    • Yellowhammer Brewing Company
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2012, 02:45:18 PM »
I didn't remove it, but OTOH I can understand why it was removed. I don't think it would be a good idea to turn the "joke thread" into an Obama bashing thread. If it makes you feel better I'll remove the other one.
Keith Y.
Self appointed "All Grain" section pruner

Offline bo

  • Senior Brewmaster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1141
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #16 on: March 08, 2012, 02:46:46 PM »
I didn't remove it, but OTOH I can understand why it was removed. I don't think it would be a good idea to turn the "joke thread" into an Obama bashing thread. If it makes you feel better I'll remove the other one.

Please don't remove it because of me.

Offline majorvices

  • Global Moderator
  • Official Poobah of No Life.
  • *****
  • Posts: 6301
  • Polka. If its too loud you're too young.
    • View Profile
    • Yellowhammer Brewing Company
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #17 on: March 08, 2012, 02:49:29 PM »
So, sorry folks but please no more political jokes. Many could easily be made about both sides of the isle and I would love to read every one but it's probably not a good place to air political affiliation or opinions. Sorry for the bummer.
Keith Y.
Self appointed "All Grain" section pruner

Offline bo

  • Senior Brewmaster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1141
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2012, 02:51:27 PM »
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge say's "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

Offline Slowbrew

  • Senior Brewmaster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1654
  • The Slowly Losing IT Brewery in Urbandale, IA
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2012, 02:54:59 PM »
Sven and Ole lived in Southern Minnesota and one day the states decided  to move the border of Iowa 2 miles north.  Sven looked at Ole and said "Thank God we won't have to live through anymore hard Minnesota winters".

*** Edited to fix my pour engrish ***
« Last Edit: March 08, 2012, 02:56:59 PM by Slowbrew »
Where the heck are we going?  And what's with this hand basket?

Offline denny

  • Administrator
  • I must live here
  • *****
  • Posts: 11643
  • Noti OR [1991.4, 287.6deg] AR
    • View Profile
    • Dennybrew
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #20 on: March 08, 2012, 02:56:51 PM »
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge say's "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

I LIKE that!

Life begins at 60.....1.060, that is!

www.dennybrew.com

The best, sharpest, funniest, weirdest and most knowledgable minds in home brewing contribute on the AHA forum. - Alewyfe

Offline thebigbaker

  • Brewmaster
  • *****
  • Posts: 702
  • Denver, CO
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #21 on: March 08, 2012, 03:04:00 PM »
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Jeremy Baker

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience." - Mitch Hedberg

Offline weithman5

  • Senior Brewmaster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1668
  • naperville, il
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #22 on: March 08, 2012, 03:10:05 PM »
how do you catch a unique rabbit?

u nique up on them
Don AHA member

Online morticaixavier

  • Official Poobah of No Life.
  • *
  • Posts: 5670
  • Davis, CA
    • View Profile
    • The Best Artist in the WORLD!!!!!
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #23 on: March 08, 2012, 03:33:00 PM »
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat walks up. He opens the coat to reveal that he is completely nude underneath.

the first old lady has a stroke
the second old lady has a stroke
the third old lady would have had a stroke but her arms were to short to reach.

Two nuns are driving along a country road late at night when suddenly a vampire leaps out in front of them. They screech to a halt and one nun says to the other, "lean out the window and show him your cross".

The second nun rolls down the window leans out and yells "GET OUT OF THE DAMN ROAD!!!!!!"
"Creativity is the residue of wasted time" - A. Einstein

Jonathan I Fuller

Offline Slowbrew

  • Senior Brewmaster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1654
  • The Slowly Losing IT Brewery in Urbandale, IA
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #24 on: March 08, 2012, 03:42:41 PM »
Jimmy goes to confession and tells Father "Father, I've sinned four times".  Father asks "was with Marilyn, Susie, Janie, Cristine or Jacklyn"?  Jimmy doesn't answer so Father gives him 4 Our Fathers as his penance.  Jimmy leaves the confessional feeling pretty good because Father only gave him 4 Our Fathers but 5 good leads.
Where the heck are we going?  And what's with this hand basket?

Offline repo

  • Brewer
  • ****
  • Posts: 326
  • San Diego CA
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #25 on: March 08, 2012, 03:43:20 PM »
Not really a joke but funny.
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin
explained the"Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:                     
 
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.  A herd of
 buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.
 And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and
weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the
general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving
by the regular killing of the weakest members!  In much the
same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells.  But naturally, it attacks the
slowest and weakest brain cells first.. In this way,
regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


Offline majorvices

  • Global Moderator
  • Official Poobah of No Life.
  • *****
  • Posts: 6301
  • Polka. If its too loud you're too young.
    • View Profile
    • Yellowhammer Brewing Company
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #26 on: March 08, 2012, 03:44:25 PM »
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat walks up. He opens the coat to reveal that he is completely nude underneath.

the first old lady has a stroke
the second old lady has a stroke
the third old lady would have had a stroke but her arms were to short to reach.

Two nuns are driving along a country road late at night when suddenly a vampire leaps out in front of them. They screech to a halt and one nun says to the other, "lean out the window and show him your cross".

The second nun rolls down the window leans out and yells "GET OUT OF THE DAMN ROAD!!!!!!"

I literally "LOL"ed on the first one.  ;D
Keith Y.
Self appointed "All Grain" section pruner

Offline pinnah

  • Senior Brewmaster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1160
  • Wesloper, CO
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #27 on: March 08, 2012, 03:47:18 PM »
u nique up on them

 ;D.  This is the first time I laughed.  For some reason, that nasal voice is funny. :o



Sorry I have nothing to contribute;
sometimes I think it is weird that I don't know any jokes, and really can't remember any. :-[


Offline weithman5

  • Senior Brewmaster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1668
  • naperville, il
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #28 on: March 08, 2012, 03:54:28 PM »
u nique up on them

 ;D.  This is the first time I laughed.  For some reason, that nasal voice is funny. :o



Sorry I have nothing to contribute;
sometimes I think it is weird that I don't know any jokes, and really can't remember any. :-[

i have been racking my brain all day to remember jokes.  nothing makes me feel as bad when there is a joke i just heard or is right there and i can't quite get the details complete to tell it.
Don AHA member

Offline punatic

  • Official Poobah of No Life.
  • *
  • Posts: 4582
  • Puna District, Hawaii Island (UTC -10)
    • View Profile
Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #29 on: March 08, 2012, 03:58:35 PM »
My family enjoys corny humor, word-play. bathroom humor and the like.  My wife and I both grew up in households were there were tons of puns...  It's a genetic kine ting.

This afternoon my 11 year old son and I were enjoying an after-school frozen float at the local drive-in; you know a scoop of ice cream in Pepsi Icee.  My son usually gets about 2/3 of the way through his and has to excuse himself to go to the restroom.

Today after the bathroom break he returns to the booth looking thoughtful, "You know Dad, I think those frozen floats are made with rocket fuel."

"Really, how so?"

"Every time I eat one I have an I.C.B.M."  (icey BM)

That's my boy!
There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way.


AHA Life Member #33907