Author Topic: AHA joke thread  (Read 14600 times)

Offline majorvices

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AHA joke thread
« on: March 08, 2012, 11:27:08 AM »
I'm poor. I mean really poor. I'm so poor the other day I was kickin' a can down the road and someone asked me what I was doing and I said "movin'.
Keith Y.

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Offline bo

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2012, 11:38:37 AM »
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker.  I dropped my pants.  She dropped her price.

Offline firedog23

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2012, 11:56:16 AM »
Rectum? Damn near killed him!
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Offline majorvices

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2012, 11:58:06 AM »
so far we have 3 pathetic jokes. Hope some jokester comes along soon.  ;)
Keith Y.

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Offline bo

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2012, 11:59:15 AM »
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me.  Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

Offline firedog23

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2012, 12:03:47 PM »
so far we have 3 pathetic jokes. Hope some jokester comes along soon.  ;)

Make it four bad jokes and dammit, you started this thread!
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Offline morticaixavier

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2012, 12:14:17 PM »
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: Why?
Q: So they can hide in cherry trees
A: I've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree
Q: see! it works!
"Creativity is the residue of wasted time"
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Offline Slowbrew

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2012, 12:18:25 PM »
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: With a green elephant gun of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: You hold it's trunk shut until it turns blue and use a blue elephant gun.

---- And you all thought your jokes were bad ----

Paul
Where the heck are we going?  And what's with this hand basket?

Offline majorvices

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2012, 12:19:50 PM »
Q: why do farts smell?

A: So deaf people can enjoy them too! :o
Keith Y.

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Offline dak0415

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2012, 01:05:37 PM »
This is from Punatic's entry in the Meaningless Thread-Thread


I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 6-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"

She said "It's President's Day!"
She is a smart kid. So, I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln etc.

She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."

ROFL
Dave Koenig
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Offline tygo

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2012, 01:25:59 PM »
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there''s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

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Offline weithman5

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #11 on: March 08, 2012, 02:02:22 PM »
i have always liked having a wife around.  just uncomfortable when her husband finds out
Don AHA member

Offline punatic

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #12 on: March 08, 2012, 02:03:04 PM »
So, a horse walks into the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender looks at the horse and asks, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way.


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Offline punatic

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #13 on: March 08, 2012, 02:04:27 PM »
What's the definition of a surprise?
A fart with a lump in it.
There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way.


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Offline bo

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Re: AHA joke thread
« Reply #14 on: March 08, 2012, 02:39:27 PM »
"This is from Punatic's entry in the Meaningless Thread-Thread


I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 6-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"

She said "It's President's Day!"
She is a smart kid. So, I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln etc.

She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."

ROFL"



My Obama joke was removed. Oh well, some can, some can't.