I love honey malt, and I am pretty sure you will love it, too.
It gives an intense malt sweetness with hint of honey-like flavor, yet lacks caramel's sharp bite (no roast or astringency).
It also gives a smoother, honey-like texture to the body of the beer.
And, yes, it is OK to use a little in an IPA recipe--my recommendation is to keep it around 1%.
4% should be fine, but probably not more than that.
IPA's are typically dry, so some purists might argue that it doesn't belong in an IPA.
Are you brewing for BJCP comps, or for your enjoyment?
http://www.thebrewingnetwork.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=&t=18751Honey Malt (Gambrinus, BC, Canada) = Bruhmalz (Weissheimer, Germany) = Melanoiden Malt (Weyermann, Germany)