Thanks for y'all's support (yes, I lived in Texas before coming here).
Yup, really a monk.
Yes, we're only about an hour and a quarter away from Assisi and less than three hours by car from Rome.
Starting a brewery is hard enough, but doing it in another country adds to the challenge, especially when it is not a beer country ... yet
I do have to say though that our building workers, architects, plumbers, electricians, and painters, and commercial lawyers have really worked hard for us, and they were especially helpful in helping us understand the Italian red tape we needed to deal with. Much like in the States, don't guess, ask someone who knows.
The best advice I can give for starting a brewery is find others who know what to do and are willing to help explain things to you. Even though every brewery is unique in its story, there's a lot of hula hoops that everyone has to go through. Finding informational resources will speed things along nicely.
The monks of Cascinazza (the first monastic brewery in Italy) and the guys at Birra del Borgo and at Vecchio Birraio were also really friendly and helpful with advice.