Author Topic: Lone Star Bock  (Read 4341 times)

Offline loopy

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Lone Star Bock
« on: January 11, 2013, 05:13:37 PM »
Dear Lone Star Bock,

I have long been a fan of your sibling, Lone Star. We have shared many an amazing night/day/night together. Floating rivers, paddling canoe's, talking with the ladies, and more. Lone Star doesn't make me ask questions or look for answers, it is simply the beer of the moment. You, however, are a massive disappointment and a blight on the good name you bare on your label. You make me ask questions, soul searching, mind crippling questions about: Why? Why in Gods name were you able to make it past the countless people who have created such magic as your older brother. Why would they let you slip past all the taste tests and marketing groups, all the way to the assembly line, to my unassuming refrigerator. Your aggressive looking rams head staring me in the face as I twisted off your cap, and the immortal words 'LONE STAR' blazing above it. I had hope, real hope, not the kind Obama promised, but like: Holy s***! I just fell into an alligator pit and am about to get my ass tore up! And then I see a hand reaching down from a place unseen, a strong, safe, secure hand, that I can rely on to pull me out of the daily drudge that we all deal with.... and those Goddamned Alligators! But, alas, you were there... Hiding your horrible deception beneath your promising visage. Like all your ancestors, I saluted all those who had fallen before you. With bold carelessness I turned you up on end, expecting the same standard of glory I had been so accustomed.... I found none. Instead, what I had found was a carefully hidden lie lurking beneath you outer shell. You must have been brewed with all of the half smoked cigars in Texas! This liquid ash tray being dumped into my mouth and running down my throat was an unexpected surprise indeed. But it was a far cry from the aftertaste of this crucible. I have had bad beer before, several times in fact, i'm no Nancy! Some times a situation calls for one to swill a warm beer thats been in a truck for months, or to polish off the rest of lonely soldier from the night before... But nothing, had prepared me for the onslaught my well traveled pallet was about to confront. I have never had a cigar be put out on my tongue before, and I have never had anyone piss in my face. But now I know that I will never have to wonder what the feeling of both, happening at the same time, would be like after trying You, Lone Star Bock. Thank you for giving me an experience that I will never forget.

Yours Truly

Offline reverseapachemaster

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2013, 09:06:18 PM »
So I shouldn't bother buying it?
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Offline redbeerman

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2013, 02:04:30 PM »
Awesome Loopy, just freakin' awesome!
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Offline euge

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2013, 04:37:40 PM »
It's f'ing awful. Period. And there certainly is an unnecessary and profoundly unbalanced roast character that is out of place for any type of bock. Even fake ones like Shiner.

Can't believe they had the stones to put "bock" on the label even if they are only competing with the aforementioned brewery. I too got excited at the thought that skilled hands were about to provide something special- what with that badass label design and all...

Buy a single and revel in truly terrible beer.

Now the folks that got it right are Schlitz and their 60's formula. That is a great beer and they don't claim to be a bock.
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. -Richard P. Feynman

Offline dirk_mclargehuge

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2013, 09:01:10 AM »
I bought a six pack.  I drank one.  My brother drank one.  My nephew drank one.  I'm pretty sure the snails would avoid this crap.

Offline alcaponejunior

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2013, 02:20:03 PM »
I have to admit I've drank a fair amount of lone star in my days.  It's cheep and it ain't bud or bud light, and thus it's highly preferable.  Sometimes cheep beer is the thing of the moment.  I can accept and live with that without any loss of my self-image as a beer-meister.

However, I've avoided buying it so far.  There are tons of craft beers available to me, and I have lots of homebrew too.  The days of requiring cheep beer are mostly gone (not that I don't enjoy a 40 of malt liquor after working every now and then). 

But yeah, I will try to find a single of this so I can review it and marvel in whatever assaults my taste buds.  I will try to not allow this thread to influence my reactions (I'm pretty good at remaining neutral though, and not letting other people's reviews or opinions affect mine). 

scores a 70 on beer advocate (only 14 ratings)

Offline euge

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2013, 12:22:15 AM »
Some of the HEB's have a single selection in or near the beer aisle. I managed to drink 5 of them and was able to pawn off the last on a friend. He complained of the butterscotchy diacetyl flavor that was in the brew as well.
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. -Richard P. Feynman

Offline 1vertical

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2013, 08:57:31 AM »
Loopy thank you, for the dire warning! (well written BTW)
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Offline dirk_mclargehuge

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2013, 05:12:23 PM »
I drank one of the last ones I had the other day. I didn't get diacityl.  I got maple syrup.  Sweet and cloying.

Today, I got a six pack of Alaskan Amber at my local beer store. "Buy the last six pack and I'll give you a 10% discount," the owner says.  "Sure!" I say.

Tastes a lot like Lone Star Bock to me.  Anyone want 5 bottles of Alaskan Amber?

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Lone Star Bock
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2013, 05:23:19 PM »
I drank one of the last ones I had the other day. I didn't get diacityl.  I got maple syrup.  Sweet and cloying.

Today, I got a six pack of Alaskan Amber at my local beer store. "Buy the last six pack and I'll give you a 10% discount," the owner says.  "Sure!" I say.

Tastes a lot like Lone Star Bock to me.  Anyone want 5 bottles of Alaskan Amber?

Never been one of my favorites....
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Offline euge

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2013, 09:44:07 PM »
I drank one of the last ones I had the other day. I didn't get diacityl.  I got maple syrup.  Sweet and cloying.

Today, I got a six pack of Alaskan Amber at my local beer store. "Buy the last six pack and I'll give you a 10% discount," the owner says.  "Sure!" I say.

Tastes a lot like Lone Star Bock to me.  Anyone want 5 bottles of Alaskan Amber?

Never been one of my favorites....

I tried a 6-pack because it said "alt" style on it. I was underwhelmed but Alaskan Amber is somewhat better than lonestar bock, but not by much.
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. -Richard P. Feynman

Offline alcaponejunior

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2013, 08:50:33 AM »
Alaskan amber isn't that great either.  Some of their beers are good but I'm not fond of that one. 

Offline alcaponejunior

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2013, 08:53:14 AM »
Some of the HEB's have a single selection in or near the beer aisle.

Certain HEB's actually have a pretty good beer selection.  Saves me trips to Gabriel's (don't get me wrong tho, I still hit up Gabriel's whenever I can, especially for the Schmaltz brewery stuff).  The one on huebner and babcock ain't bad, and the one on bandera/1604 is actually sometimes pretty good.  A lot of the craft beers are even kept cold, especially at the bandera store.

Offline euge

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2013, 08:03:54 PM »
I haven't been to the bandera location. But, nearly all have some sort of "crafty" beer like sam adams or blue moon, shocktop etc... I think central market has the most comprehensive selection- though it was a bit more eclectic a few years ago.
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. -Richard P. Feynman

Offline anje

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Re: Lone Star Bock
« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2013, 10:23:21 AM »
I drank one of the last ones I had the other day. I didn't get diacityl.  I got maple syrup.  Sweet and cloying.

Today, I got a six pack of Alaskan Amber at my local beer store. "Buy the last six pack and I'll give you a 10% discount," the owner says.  "Sure!" I say.

Tastes a lot like Lone Star Bock to me.  Anyone want 5 bottles of Alaskan Amber?

Never been one of my favorites....

I tried a 6-pack because it said "alt" style on it. I was underwhelmed but Alaskan Amber is somewhat better than lonestar bock, but not by much.
Yeah. I got a 6-pack of Alaskan Amber because someone in my club was raving about it, talked me into getting a case for them when I was last in WI (since it's not distributed here). I suspect most of it is still taking up valuable fridge space that could be devoted to beers I would actually choose to drink.
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