Author Topic: Good vibes  (Read 857 times)

cornershot

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Good vibes
« on: September 25, 2013, 09:18:27 PM »
My wife's pretty cool with my obsession(s). My brewery's taken over the whole basement. Sometimes I evict her car from the garage to brew or, more recently, to dry hops. Sometimes I take over the kitchen to brew and while I'm in the basement filling the fermenter she cleans up after me. I neglect her with club meetings and events, keg washing, double brew days, whatever. Totally supportive. But I've loved and lost before and that sucks. I know you can only push a woman so far and next thing you know, she's gone. We all need to do what is fulfilling to ourselves, but we need to strike a balance. Compromise. Especially if our significant other doesn't share the same interests. So I wanted to share some of the things I do to keep my relationship positive and I'd like to hear what y'all do to keep your relationships in good standing while spending way too much time doing what we do.
First, I think it's important to at least keep your significant other in the loop. They may not be interested in brewing and you may think they don't want to hear about your geekery but I think we all understand that it's very positive to have something fulfilling to focus on and just enjoy in our own way. So talk about it! It's attractive to be passionate about something! Just try not to get too geeky, unless he/she likes that.
Also, if you're going to put a lot of energy into something just for fun, you'd better be an energetic person! If I'm going to neglect my wife for a Saturday marathon brewday, I'll spend the previous day vacuuming the house, washing windows, etc. and I'll make sure I have dinner in the crockpot and then gice her a backrub to boot. Always better to pay it forward. And "thank you" doesn't hurt either!
Anyway, my point is, it's easy to get wrapped up in our obsessions and neglect the ones we love. So be passionate, be grateful, be generous, be energetic, be kind, and don't take your loved ones for granted. Good beer brought me to this community and good vibes kept me here. Peace.



Offline Slowbrew

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2013, 04:23:29 AM »
It's pretty easy at my house.  I just do what ever she says and we get along fine.   ;)

I'm only half joking about that.  She runs the house and if she mentions something needs to be looked at, it gets looked at.  In return I get time, now and then, to brew on a Saturday.  With 4 kids in school I have never been able to use all my PTO any given year so I usually brew on Friday while she's teaching and the kids are in class.  I get my alone time and she doesn't have to plan around my brewing.

Support her activities and she will support yours.  It also doesn't hurt to make her a beer snob and then point out how expensive craft beers are in the liquor isle.

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Offline redbeerman

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2013, 05:04:30 AM »
+ A whole bunch!
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Offline theDarkSide

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2013, 05:36:44 AM »
I too have taken over the basement but she gets the dining room for her scrapbooking.  Also, since I get to go to NHC, she wil go to several all-weekend scrapbooking getaways throughout the year.

My wife does not drink beer and when she does have a drink, it's usually some sort of Seagrams or Frozen type drink.  I've been having her try some mead lately since we are really close to Moonlight Meadery and it's readily accessible.

My brewing never gets in the way of activities for my son, but he's now 11 and in scouts so he doesn't need us to attend as much anymore.

And I tolerate her insatiable candy crush habit  ;D
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Offline AmandaK

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2013, 05:59:42 AM »
So be passionate, be grateful, be generous, be energetic, be kind, and don't take your loved ones for granted.

Love this.
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Offline pinnah

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2013, 06:18:22 AM »
So be passionate, be grateful, be generous, be energetic, be kind, and don't take your loved ones for granted.

Love this.

+1.  Excellent thoughts Big Al.

My wife is now a beer drinker, and appreciates my brewing.
She used to enjoy only porters, but now anything that is not IPA IBU levels is a "bit sweet".
I credit Denny's RIPA for her conversion.  ;D.  Thanks man.

I think it helps that her hobbies are way more expensive than mine. :o

Offline tonyp

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2013, 06:29:10 AM »
My wife brews with me and loves everything about it so I guess I found a good one.
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Offline speed

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2013, 06:43:29 AM »
My wife brews with me and loves everything about it so I guess I found a good one.
+1 my wife even says, aren't you going to brew today, we're about out of beer 8)

Offline majorvices

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2013, 06:50:53 AM »
My wife let me invest a large portion of our life savings in a brewery and work for pennies full time FTW! ;)
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Offline HoosierBrew

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2013, 07:11:10 AM »
I got lucky too. My wife is supportive of the time, money, and space requirements that I give to brewing, even though she doesn't like most styles of beer.  So in addition to being alot of help around the house, I pay her back a few times a year with fruit beers, hefeweizen, witbier, or cider,ie., something that she likes and can have a bunch of her friends over to enjoy. She's more than earned it.
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Offline thebigbaker

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2013, 07:35:25 AM »
Great post Al!

When I first started brewing about two years ago, my wife questioned why I was spending so much money on making beer.  To get her interested, I would ask what beers she would like and I would make sure to have one or two of those on tap for her.  As time went on, she got more and more interested in the hobby and now brews with me...or should I say I brew with her.  Oh how times have changed from when she was complaining about the money spent on homebrewing to suggesting that we put a canning unit in the basement!  We recently started making wine and she is really into that, maybe even more than brewing beer.   

I realized early that brewing takes up a good chunk of your day and weekends are really the only time I have to brew.  This meant I was taking away fun time with my wife and daughter, so it was very important that I include my wife with my homebrewing hobby.  I still try to brew very early in the mornings so that we have ample time the rest of the day to head to the mountains, go to the park, visit a brewery or two, etc...

Now, if only I can talk her into letting me have a motorcycle...
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Offline majorvices

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2013, 07:44:30 AM »
I have a motorcycle too! FTW again!!'
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Offline denny

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2013, 08:25:05 AM »
This is my house....

Life begins at 60.....1.060, that is!

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Offline klickitat jim

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2013, 09:10:10 AM »
That's awesome and I'll bet pretty true

Offline realbeerguy

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Re: Good vibes
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2013, 09:12:31 AM »
Denny, not quite my house, but definately my garage.

Wife started me on the obsession.  She was an occasional Bud drinker.  Now appreciates all styles and is one of our better judges in our club.
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