I didn't start brewing until my kids were in college, so I got nothin' to say but "happy wife = happy life."
I was self-employed, traveled a lot, and finished college through night classes when my kids were infants/toddlers - and my wife has always worked full-time. The key for us was to know when one of us needed a break from the mayhem, and to give each other the opportunity to get that break. Having my mom living nearby and happy to take the kids for an afternoon here and there helped a lot, too.
Best wishes, good luck, and brew on!