I better understand those opinions to use honey malt with restraint...
I have always thought that I liked honey malt but never used it for more than 5% of any recipe. I have slowly been pushing the amounts up so that I can better identify it in the finished beers. I was never like, 'oh that's the honey malt'. My most recent blonde ale has about 7% honey malt and it is very noticeable. My fermenting pale ale has 9% but I think it will be okay since it will be balanced out by the hops.
I like the idea of a honey sweetness but it really seems to impart a lot of malty character as well. I would describe it as a mix between dark munich and crystal malt, at least that is how it makes sense in my head. For this beer in particular, it is too much. In the past, this blonde ale was a great sessionable/summer type beer. This version is definitely more full flavored and almost heavy tasting although it finished at 1.009. Sometimes my palate is a bit off and another tasting may uncover different impressions (I am hoping at least). At this point, I will likely reduce the amount in future batches or replace it with light crystal malt.
It is taking me a long time but I am slowly starting to understand how certain grains affect a finished beer. I may have gone overboard with my use of honey malt but at least I really know what it does when before I wasn't quite sure.