My preferences for oatmeal stout :
Use of pale chocolate malt, rather than dark chocolate malt. Gives a more mild roastiness, which seems smoother.
Use both roasted barley and black malt. This just gives a bit of layering to the roast flavor. Black malt gives a light tart, but smooth. Roasted barley gives a dry roast like coffee.
I lightly toast my oats to accentuate the oat flavor contribution.
I've put amber malt in my last couple batches, as I had some leftover and wasn't sure what to use it in. Seems to work, but I need to have a side-by-side to really see it if is doing anything.
I've never use flaked barley in an oatmeal stout. Does it do much?