Just random notes:
What are exotic spices
Don't try to figure out where things come from, low level citrusy ester is what you perceived. All that extra guessing doesn't earn points
spicy aromatics either overpower or they don't, they should not "appear to"
Loose the "possibly yeast derived"
Now everything should fit in the Aroma space, writing in the margins rarely earns extra marks. Only do it if you must.
don't compare appearance to another beer, describe the appearance. I'd lose the 25% of sample comment, just describe it as very tall and moussy or whatever fits
Low phenols, what kind - bandaid (bad), or spicy (good)? Explain the exotic. Better terminology would be Low spicy phenols of pepper and star anise (or whatever). Once you fully describe, then it would be fine to just call them phenols. Alcohol warmth is a sensation and should be in mouthfeel. Alcohol flavor is a flavor description. Be sure to put things in the proper location. Don't use the term "swallow", better to describe the finish and aftertaste.
Thin body? Was it low, medium, high or some combination, explain the exact level. You said it wasn't astringent and then said it was. It is an absolute, it either is astringent or it isn't. FWIW - I have never had an astringent Hennepin.
If it was astringent and out of balance at best it would score a 32-35, perhaps lower. Better feedback is required, discuss how to take it from whatever score you gave to a 50. If your Stylistic Grid at the bottom was for a 43 beer at least two of the aspects would be full ticks. On the left since you mentioned astringent it needs to be ticked. Phenolic needs to be ticked. Esters need to be ticked. If it is present in the beer it should be marked.
I'd probably give that sheet a Certified score if grading. Tweaked as suggested above with attributes in the correct section and I'd go National.