SWMBO?
She Who Must Be Obeyed.
I had to look it up.
Clearly, this calls for for some domestic diplomacy. It's my experience that wives/girlfriends/SO who "don't like beer" aren't properly educated as to the full range of beers out there. Carefully approach her, bearing suitable glittery offerings, and ask her what it is about beer she doesn't like.
Try to find a good commercial example of a style of beer that she might favor. Share it with her. Carefully observe her reactions. Like the male mantis, be prepared to flee at the first sign of trouble.
Start by trying her out on low-hop, slightly sweet styles, like Munich Helles, Blonde Ale, Koelsch, American Wheat and Hefeweizen. You might also try her on Berlinerweisse, if you can get it or brew it. If you can afford it, see if she goes for Flanders Red, Flanders Brown or Fruit Lambic (Lindeman's Framboise is innocuous and makes a good dessert topping if she doesn't drink it).
If she "sort of likes" a particular beer, have her try it with a bit of lemon or fruit juice. There's nothing wrong with beer cocktails like lemon and lager, radlermaas or shandy when conjugal bliss is at stake.
Once you've found a commercial style of beer that she likes well enough, try to dial in a really first-rate homebrewed version. Get her to collaborate on recipe design. She can't complain that much if she helped brew it.
If all that fails, you're probably better off just making a cocktail of lemonade and vodka or making lemon-flavored cordials.
There is also the happy chance that she "doesn't like beer" because she's only familiar with Fizzy Yellow Swill and considers it to be too bland. In that case, you might have an exceptional woman who shares your love of the malt and/or hop. Introduce her to big, bold styles like RIS, English Barleywine, or Double IPA and note her reactions. If she takes to craft beer like waterfowl to the proverbial mash liquor, marry this person if you haven't already. Cherish her and rejoice in your good fortune.
Technically, foul swill like Mike's IS a "malt beverage," but that's like saying that dollar store dog food is roast rack of spring lamb. The exact processes involved in its spawning are secret, propriety, and obscene. They are said to involve producing a high-gravity, highly-fermentable wort from malt and the blood of innocents, fermenting it with a highly-attenuative yeast strain drooled from the lips of hellhounds, and then filtering the result through a 0.2 micron filter while standing naked within a pentagram edged with black candles and chanting in the Black Tongue.
The resulting liquid is then diluted to about 5% ABV using deoxygenated water possibly obtained from the River Lethe, and then treated with lemon-like flavor mixtures alleged to include the tears of tortured children and colorants rumored to be derived from the souls of 13 Hell-sworn SAB-Miller executives. It may then be force carbonated to 2.5 or more volumes, possibly using CO2 obtained from a murderer's last breath.
I might have gotten some of the details wrong, but it's definitely not something a sane and God-fearing homebrewer would want to get involved in. In my opinion.
Topic: Homemade hard lemonade (Read 17454 times)
