My first impression is too much crystal, and I agree that the sugar and crystal are counter productive. hop schedule looks good. When making my ESB I try to stick to the following ratio more or less. 88% base, 10% crystal/adjunct, 2% color/dark malt.
remember cystal malt adds color but also a lot of flavor, and it can be used sparingly. if you are adding mid/dark crystal for color you can always use less and add a touch of dark malt for color.
sugar on the other hand (even brown sugar) does the opposite. it will ferment out almost completely and is usually used to dry out a beer (lighten the body, while maintaining alcohol content).