Author Topic: New and improved method for making yeast starters  (Read 655 times)

Offline Richard

  • Assistant Brewer
  • ***
  • Posts: 104
    • View Profile
New and improved method for making yeast starters
« on: April 01, 2018, 12:24:19 AM »
There is a new method of yeast starter growth that produces healthier, more vigorous yeast than you have ever had before. This method is called Sinusoidal Continuous Amplitude Modulation (SCAM). You may have heard of the Shaken Not Stirred (SNS) method that is considered by some to be superior to the use of stir plates. This new method uses a stir plate, but it is not your father's stir plate! The key to this process is the use of a stir plate which has the stirring velocity and frequency continuously changing in a sinusoidal form, hence the name.

All athletes know that the key to building fitness is repeated cycles of stress and recovery. Too much stress and you just break down, too much recovery and you lose ground. The key is the combination, and that is what this method provides for yeast. Ramping up to a high velocity gets the yeast up and moving vigorously and promotes healthy gas exchange at the surface. Too much spinning can be stressful, though, so this method ramps down the speed to allow the yeast to rest and recover a bit, but before they have a chance to get flabby the velocity starts up again at the start of another cycle.

But wait, there's more! The yeast would soon adapt to a basic sinusoidal modulation, which is easily predictable. To make things more interesting the frequency of the modulation is varied in a way that produces Bessel sidebands that are unprecedented in stir plate history. By modulating the ampltude and frequency with incommensurate frequencies the pattern produced is highly variable and nearly chaotic. The one certainty is that this will produce very robust yeast that can adapt to any wort into which you pitch them. These yeast will never get bored! They are in a continuously-changing environment that is stimulating and challenging but also gives plenty of downtime. Even the strongest Russian Imperial Stout wort will be no match for yeast grown with this method. They will laugh at even the strongest wort and ask for more. You will get the most vigorous and thorough fermentation you have ever seen, regardless of the yeast strain.

Due to the high technology involved in the production of this device, it will not be available for purchase but will be leased to qualifying customers on a first-come, first-served basis. Click here to get on the waiting list now: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TGlkcHotmHRPu0BCJaRSyQkbzzaM_-zGexvJmeL7qow/edit?usp=sharing

Offline klickitat jim

  • I must live here
  • **********
  • Posts: 8477
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2018, 12:33:54 AM »
Can't help it

Online Robert

  • Senior Brewmaster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1677
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2018, 01:31:03 AM »
Any chance the next model will have Bluetooth connectivity with the Picobrew Z, so it can bring the yeast to peak vitality just as the brew is ready?
Rob
Akron, Ohio

I'd rather have questions I can't answer than answers I can't question.

Offline charles1968

  • Brewmaster
  • *****
  • Posts: 533
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2018, 06:48:41 AM »
Haha! Remind me what today's date is...

Offline chezteth

  • Brewmaster
  • *****
  • Posts: 558
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2018, 07:09:09 AM »
Wait, when will it be available?

Offline Richard

  • Assistant Brewer
  • ***
  • Posts: 104
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2018, 03:16:11 PM »
Any chance the next model will have Bluetooth connectivity with the Picobrew Z, so it can bring the yeast to peak vitality just as the brew is ready?

Good suggestion! We are working on that, along with a couple of other connectivity issues:
  • Wrap a FitBit around your Erlenmeyer flask neck and track the fitness of your yeast
  • Upload the data to Strava to compare the health of your starter to that of other starters with the same yeast
We haven't figured out how to get the yeast to sign the privacy agreements yet...

Offline riceral

  • Brewer
  • ****
  • Posts: 301
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2018, 03:33:45 PM »
Any chance the next model will have Bluetooth connectivity with the Picobrew Z, so it can bring the yeast to peak vitality just as the brew is ready?

We haven't figured out how to get the yeast to sign the privacy agreements yet...

Are the yeast holding out for a bigger cut of the profits?
Ralph R.

Offline Aksarben

  • Cellarman
  • **
  • Posts: 58
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2018, 02:07:40 AM »
It's a crock.
Vernon

Associate Winemaker, Fenn Valley Vineyards
Fennville, MI

I was born with nothing, and have managed to keep most of it.

Offline Stevie

  • Official Poobah of No Life.
  • *
  • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2018, 04:17:34 AM »
It's a crock.
It’s a joke. I think he posted it a day early.

Offline Richard

  • Assistant Brewer
  • ***
  • Posts: 104
    • View Profile
Re: New and improved method for making yeast starters
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2018, 01:31:08 AM »
Yes, it was a joke.
If you click on the link at the end of the post it takes you to a page that says:
APRIL FOOLS!