Author Topic: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes  (Read 3199 times)

Offline halenrush

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Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« on: September 02, 2010, 10:23:14 AM »
Seen on a shirt:

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups.  He pushes the earth down. 
Chuck Norris has been to Mars.  Thats why there is no life there.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter. 
Chuck Norris doesn't have to mow his lawn.  He dares it to grow.



Keep 'em coming.

Offline gordonstrong

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2010, 10:53:57 AM »
For math fans:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Offline nicneufeld

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2010, 11:04:37 AM »
The subject line has a sort of Emma Lazarus sound to it:

Quote
Give us your tired jokes, your poor jokes
Your huddled masses of Chuck Norris jokes yearning to breathe free
[/i]

Offline mnstorm99

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2010, 11:05:25 AM »
You don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you
Chuck Norris can skip a stone under water
Chuck Norris can make a three sided square
Chuck Norris can alphabatize m&m's
Chuck Norris can watch a 60 minute TV episode in 22 seconds
*Tapped:
Peach/Raspberry Ale 4.5%/18IBU (6/6/10)
Golden Promise IPA (Keg #2) - 5.8%/73IBU (7/3/10)
Jason's Ball & Chain - 6.4%/63IBU (7/17/10)
All His Merry Men - 4.9%/23IBU (8/1/10)
Citra Amber Ale - 4.8%/23IBU (8/1/10)

Offline weithman5

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2010, 11:07:28 AM »
my favorite two.  google find chuck norris. it replies "google won't search for chuck norris because it knows chuck norris finds you.

my son was quoted in his high school yearbook where he would graffiti his name if he could.  there in black and white it says "chuck norris's forehead. because if i can get away with that i can get away with anything"
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Offline theDarkSide

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2010, 11:15:07 AM »
The Dark Side of the Force succumbs to Chuck Norris!

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Offline theDarkSide

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2010, 11:15:57 AM »
Chuck Norris can watch a 60 minute TV episode in 22 seconds

So can I with Tivo  ;D
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Offline rabid_dingo

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2010, 11:45:27 AM »
Chuck Norris has never had a stuck mash.
Chuck Norris can brew a perfect beer with 1lb of barley 1 quart of water one yeast cell and an ice cold pint glass.
Chuck Norris heats his mash tun with roundhouse kicks to the cooler.
Chuck Norris once had a red cooler for a mash tun, but it turned blue after the first roundhouse kick.
If Chuck Norris enters a home brew competition everyone else automatically loses.
 ;D
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Offline weithman5

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2010, 11:48:07 AM »

Chuck Norris heats his mash tun with roundhouse kicks to the cooler.


Rueben wins 8)
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Offline weazletoe

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2010, 12:02:00 PM »
www.chucknorrisfacts.com


Also, go to google, typre in "Chuck Norris", and the click "Feeling Lucky".
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Offline blatz

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2010, 12:34:56 PM »
www.chucknorrisfacts.com


Also, go to google, typre in "Chuck Norris", and the click "Feeling Lucky".

damn - you beat me to it.
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Offline riverrat

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2010, 12:47:40 PM »
Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer.... Too bad he will never cry.
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Offline gordonstrong

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2010, 12:48:27 PM »
I love the new beer-related jokes.  It's fresh content.  OK, here's one.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to mash. The grain converts out of fear.
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Offline gordonstrong

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2010, 12:51:08 PM »
Ninkasi tries to win the Chuck Norris Award.
Gordon Strong • Beavercreek, Ohio • AHA Member since 1997 • Twitter: GordonStrong

Offline blatz

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Re: Give us your Chuck Norris jokes
« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2010, 01:03:33 PM »
Chuck Norris chills hot wort just by staring at it.
The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

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