My favorite Southernism that I use sometimes to irritate the English teachers is my family is "fixin' ta" as in "I'm fixin' ta go to the store. Need anything?"
The absolute best for causing the little jumpy eyelid tic is to combine it with "made" as in "I'm fixin' ta get my picture made"
True story...
A few weeks ago in a conversation with my cousin I heard this; true story.
"She shook me awake and I
hear'd something up and under the house. I grabbed my pistol and looked about and there was
a ol' tom cat. I holler'd at him and he ran and
clem'd that there pecan tree. I stood
up and under him and said "you better git, 'cause I'm
fixin' to put one in your ass.
Welcome to a South Carolina high school graduate's conversation.
I don't know how much else is wrong.
<sigh, he makes more than I do, actually he supervises about 12 people> (Just stay away)