The one that's been killing me lately is the new sense that "anymore" seems to be taking. Anymore, people use it to mean something like "nowadays".
That, and a verb construction that I've only heard in Indiana, and which is incredibly common here: [noun] needs [past participle]. As in, "My car needs cleaned." Doing it without the passive voice ("to be") just sounds incredibly wrong to me.
(Sorry I didn't get this in before the thread was re-dedicated to poop jokes.)