Hmm, I'd think it would be darker since you are using dark liquid extract. The problem is that you don't know what grains were used to make it dark, so you don't really know what flavor profile it will yield. Presumably the people who formulated the kit took this into account. I'd be a little wary of cranking up the dark specialty malts without knowing what was in it. Oatmeal stout shouldn't really be excessively roasty, so you want to watch what you add. You might do it as the recipe states, including steeping, and then taste it before you start the boil. If it doesn't have enough roast flavor, steep more. You don't have to do it all at once.
The oats will give you flavor but not any gravity points unless you mash them. As stated, they're just going to give you a permanent starch haze (which might not matter if you're making an opaque beer). You can do a mini-mash with an equal amount of two-row barley and convert them. Use 155F or so.
When I make an oatmeal stout, I use oatmeal for 10-20% of the fermentables. So I would crank those up without worry, except that I'd mash them.
Do you do a concentrated boil or a full boil? Is that part of your IBU calculation? I don't really like my oatmeal stouts too bitter and also know that the roasted grains will give some bitterness that you will taste but won't be in any IBU formula. It also depends on the strength of your beer. You can increase them if it's a stronger beer. In an average strength beer, I'd look for something around 22 IBUs, but that's my taste.