dmzlater, you can still do your 5 gallon batches outside without risking your neck with the hot wort carry. I used to do that too, and feel myself very fortunate that I never got hit with a disaster.
Set yourself up with a cheap submersible pond pump. For less than 30$, I got a Sunterra 320GPH model that does the trick of recirculating cold water from a cooler through my standard issue wort chiller. I needed a small section of half-inch ID hose to connect it. Works great outside in the frigid temps. If there's no snow around to chill the water down, I can put the water & cooler outside over night in these temps. The instructions say not to use the pump in temps below... 45 I think? But I've not had a problem so far (ten batches) despite dumping loads of snow into the cooler. Maybe the key is that the pump is nice and warm inside the house before use, and isn't submerged in the cold water for more than an hour.
I'll also use a block of sterile ice in the kettle if need be. Also, if I keep my garden hose inside the house, I find I can use it to feed the initial chill until the outdoor temps hit 10.
A post from euge got me thinking; he puts his wort chiller in at flame out. So adapting that trick, I pre-sterilize it in a spare kettle with a bit of boiling water, then let it freeze up outside in the garage. At flame out, it goes in and drops temps a lot.
Additionally, if you aerate your wort outside using a sterile filter, you can really drop the temps fast once in the fermenter.
At the least if you can't do all these tricks, some combination of them will bring the wort temps down below DMS threshold (140) and skin melting threshold (don't know and don't want to find out) before your carry down the steps!
All in all I love brewing in the cold; so much easier to hit lager pitching temps with minimal fuss.