This is a pretty funny thread.
As a westerner, I can offer this: Out here in the Rocky Mountains, we are used to throwing parties with commercial beer, pushed by air, so the next day after the party folks are encouraged to come over to help kill the keg and fill their growlers before the beer spoils. Maybe these light-in-the-loafers types from Poke-a-fellow (sorry, old joke that I had to bring up) are thinking that they are doing you a favor by drinking up your beer before the keg goes sour.
Plus, it being Poke-a-fellow, maybe they are trying to get rid of your beer before the Elders from the Sixteenth Ward find out that you've been drinking. Who knows? You're living in your own private Idaho.