Author Topic: Monster-in-law  (Read 2116 times)

Offline tschmidlin

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Monster-in-law
« on: July 01, 2011, 06:11:27 PM »
Tom Schmidlin

Offline Slowbrew

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2011, 06:32:42 PM »
I can understand the Mother-in-law's complaints.  In my own family it was normally the new in-law being shocked by, what we call, the out-laws (i.e. my brothers and sisters).  We have always liked to have fun.  8^)

The comments by readers made me laugh.  They can basically be summed up with "GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"

Paul
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Offline tschmidlin

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2011, 07:09:36 PM »
Some of the complaints may be reasonable, however much of it seems centered around food and sleeping.  The girl is diabetic (not mentioned in this article) which could account for that.  She also chastises the girl for talking about being diabetic, which seems rather relevant.

But to me the hilarity comes from the mother's absolute rudeness - akin to someone saying "don't use any f##king foul language around my f##king house".  You don't send an email like that, you could have a private conversation with her if it really mattered to you.  But the email seems far more rude than the girl's behavior.
Tom Schmidlin

Offline punatic

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2011, 07:11:10 PM »
It would seem from the one reader's comments that diabetes causes bad manners.  There must be a diabetes epidemic!
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Offline tschmidlin

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2011, 08:14:06 PM »
I'm not diabetic and I only know one person who is (that I know of), but low blood sugar can certainly lead to irritability and bad manners.  It seems less rude to eat something than to pass out at the table, but maybe I'm just not polite enough to get it. ;)
Tom Schmidlin

Offline bonjour

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2011, 08:18:35 PM »
I'm not diabetic and I only know one person who is (that I know of), but low blood sugar can certainly lead to irritability and bad manners.  It seems less rude to eat something than to pass out at the table, but maybe I'm just not polite enough to get it. ;)

I'll bet you know more than that  ;)

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Offline Slowbrew

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2011, 08:33:44 PM »
I know many people who are Type II diabetic.  None of them seem more irritable than others.  If people actively monitor and manage their blood sugar they can eat a bit of pretty much anything.

I wasn't trying to defend the M-I-L as it is quite rude to dis your future daughter in an email.  I'm guessing the young woman could have handled it better too.  We all had some rough edges when we were younger.  It's too bad it had to become a internet story and seems to demonstrate the idea that no one knows what you do on the interwebs.

Even my little (not so little anymore actually) monsters have learned to take a bit of what ever is offered.  Taste it and then refuse seconds.  We don't really stand on tradition when it comes to seconds at our house.  Guest can eat what they want, as much as they want, whenever they want.  They just need to be fast enough to beat the kids to the bowls.  8^)

Holidays at Mummie's should fun for this couple.

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Offline EHall

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2011, 04:24:39 AM »
Does everyone have to be so f'n PC these days?! A little rudeness is refreshing.
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Offline punatic

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2011, 04:31:57 AM »
Manners are not PC.  Rudeness is not cool.

I try to live an easy-going life.  That's kind of the way of things here in Hawaii.  However, one thing that gets under my skin is bad manners - especially intentional rudeness.  I'm getting better at letting rudeness roll of off my back.  I mean it's a matter of letting someone else's actions control how I feel.  Not good.

As a Scout leader one of my areas of teaching is helping my Scouts to have good manners.  One cannot have good manners if one does not know what good manners are.  Then, if one chooses, one may have good manners, or not.

There was an interesting movie a few years ago called Blast From the Past.  It was about a man who was raised by his parents in a fallout shelter.  Some pretty funny stuff.  A quote from that movie that has always stuck with me is one I share with my Scouts,

"...He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn't know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?   ...I thought a 'gentleman' was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible."

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Offline tschmidlin

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2011, 07:55:29 AM »
I'll bet you know more than that  ;)
Like I said, that I know of. :) There's only one guy who talks to me about it.

None of them seem more irritable than others.  If people actively monitor and manage their blood sugar they can eat a bit of pretty much anything.

I wasn't trying to defend the M-I-L as it is quite rude to dis your future daughter in an email.  I'm guessing the young woman could have handled it better too.  We all had some rough edges when we were younger.  It's too bad it had to become a internet story and seems to demonstrate the idea that no one knows what you do on the interwebs.
Sorry, I wasn't trying to imply that diabetes = crankiness.  But if your sugar is crashing it can happen.  It may be that she's bad at managing her disease.  It may also be that she is just not that polite. ;D We don't really know, but either way the email was out of bounds.

I'm sure the whole thing is pretty embarrassing for everyone involved now.  Maybe they can both admit they were wrong and get over it.  And if the MIL wants to pay for finishing school, maybe the girl should go.  It would probably only help her career.
Tom Schmidlin

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2011, 12:54:26 PM »
It's not what you say but how you say it.

 You can decline gracefully. If there is food you can't or won't eat then maybe you shouldn't, and a lot of people are in this situation. My wife is one of them (diabetic). A good host will let the guest know ahead of time the menu; "Hey, we're having boiled hog guts for supper!".

 This is gives the guest the opportunity to decline respectfully and descretely. A good host will accept this. The burden to act correctly is on both, the guest and the host.

 Same goes with "house rules". But if the girl want to sleep to noon, who cares? Everybody is brought up different.

 I would be glad if my future MIL worte me this kind if letter because i would like to know this attitude ahead of time.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2011, 01:02:07 PM by tubercle »
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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2011, 02:45:45 PM »
Oh, how many times I've thought about writing a letter similar to this.Cheers to someone who has the guts to say what needed to be said.

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #12 on: July 02, 2011, 03:19:55 PM »
It may have needed to be said (and I'm still not sure of that), but it definitely didn't need to be said like that.  Like Carl said, "Rudeness is not cool".
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Offline jeffy

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #13 on: July 02, 2011, 06:40:08 PM »
Manners are not PC.  Rudeness is not cool.

I try to live an easy-going life.  That's kind of the way of things here in Hawaii.  However, one thing that gets under my skin is bad manners - especially intentional rudeness.  I'm getting better at letting rudeness roll of off my back.  I mean it's a matter of letting someone else's actions control how I feel.  Not good.

As a Scout leader one of my areas of teaching is helping my Scouts to have good manners.  One cannot have good manners if one does not know what good manners are.  Then, if one chooses, one may have good manners, or not.

There was an interesting movie a few years ago called Blast From the Past.  It was about a man who was raised by his parents in a fallout shelter.  Some pretty funny stuff.  A quote from that movie that has always stuck with me is one I share with my Scouts,

"...He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn't know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?   ...I thought a 'gentleman' was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible."


But I seem to remember this from a previous post:

After the oncoming traffic cleared, the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy made a left turn.  As I accelerated away I yelled to the driver of the little canister vacuum cleaner looking hybrid thingy, "Hey Moonbeam, learn to use your F-ing turn signals or next time take the F-ing bus!"

Just sayin'
Jeff Gladish, Tampa (989.3, 175.1 Apparent Rennarian)
Homebrewing since 1990
AHA member since 1991, now a lifetime member
BJCP judge since 1995

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Re: Monster-in-law
« Reply #14 on: July 02, 2011, 08:14:03 PM »
It may have needed to be said (and I'm still not sure of that), but it definitely didn't need to be said like that.  Like Carl said, "Rudeness is not cool".

Exactly why I said "similar" to that letter. It could have been stated better, but manners today are very much lacking in society, especially with our younger generation.  It was the very reason that I made a comment about using the F word be used at a professional meeting. No, kids were't going to be there, but if adults keep taking a lackadaisical attitude toward such things, how can we expect our kids to not do the same. I'm doing my best to raise my kids to show respect for adults as well as their peers. So far, they're doing pretty well, but they are young and have a ways to go.