Author Topic: Endlessly Amusing  (Read 5865 times)

Offline punatic

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #30 on: August 12, 2011, 08:12:23 PM »
I was hoping that this thread would lead to people putting up corny jokes:

A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender looks at the horse and says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"   ::)
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Offline MrNate

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #31 on: August 12, 2011, 09:05:19 PM »
My girlfriend's* daughter is named Alice. I've been trying to teach her to say "To the moon!" when I say, "One of these days, Alice!"




* Yeah, that happened... Don't judge me.
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Offline dbeechum

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #32 on: August 12, 2011, 09:30:37 PM »
I'm not looking for a fight or trying to argue, just looking for consistency... which is crazy cause the only thing consistent on the internet is inconsistency...

The rule of thumb we've been using is to trust to the better angels of everyone's natures. Of course the internet puts truth to the Chamberlain idiom of man being a killer angel. :)

And a corny joke...

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it'd be a bagel.
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Offline BrewingRover

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #33 on: August 13, 2011, 06:00:30 AM »
I was hoping that this thread would lead to people putting up corny jokes:

A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender looks at the horse and says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"   ::)

Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your type."
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever.

Offline majorvices

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #34 on: August 13, 2011, 06:21:02 AM »
whats endlessly amusing to me is how some threads get shut down right away and some get to live for a while... all while bending/breaking the same rules... not exactly sure why so many restrictions or lack of consistency in the mods...

To be fair, I'm usually the one with the light trigger finger on locking political threads. I would have locked it right away, but I was on the road all day yesterday.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2011, 06:22:53 AM by majorvices »
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Offline rabid_dingo

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #35 on: August 14, 2011, 11:44:14 AM »
These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders
and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this
bar. The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders.

The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?"

The string says "Yeah."

The bartender says, "aren't you a string?"

The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..."
Ruben * Colorado :)

Offline punatic

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #36 on: August 14, 2011, 12:15:52 PM »
What do you get when you drop a grand piano down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor!

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Offline hopfenundmalz

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #37 on: August 14, 2011, 12:42:37 PM »
This was told by a friend.

A superconductor walks into a bar.

The bartender says - "We don't serve your types here."

The superconductor leaves without resistance.
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Offline tubercle

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #38 on: August 14, 2011, 12:49:23 PM »
Two ions are walking down the street

One says "I think I've lost an electron"

The other one "Are you sure"?

The first one"Yes, I'm positive".
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Offline punatic

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #39 on: August 14, 2011, 01:00:44 PM »
Did you hear about the ant that could not speak?

It was a mute ant.
There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way.


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Offline bonjour

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #40 on: August 15, 2011, 06:27:25 AM »
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?






DAM!
Fred Bonjour
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Offline weithman5

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #41 on: August 15, 2011, 06:55:11 AM »
buddy of mine was taking up golf. ( i abhore it) and was playing poorly.  asked the caddy what he thought was wrong.  the caddy replied  "there's some dog s*** on the end of the club"  my friend looked down at the club head and the caddy said "no, i meant the other end"
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Offline theDarkSide

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #42 on: August 15, 2011, 07:19:18 AM »
Did everyone hear?  PERRY HAS ENTERED THE RACE!!!



They don't do much you know.

 :D
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Offline James Lorden

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #43 on: August 15, 2011, 07:19:31 AM »
Husband is drinking his homebrew with his wife and says, I love you and I don't know how I'd get through my day without you.  Wife says "is that you talking, or the homebrew" husband says "it's me talking...to the homebrew".
James Lorden
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Offline weithman5

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Re: Endlessly Amusing
« Reply #44 on: August 15, 2011, 07:33:29 AM »
so i saw this guy throwing a brick in to the air. it would come back down then he would throw it up again.  i asked him what he was doing. he replied that he was hoping to get it to go high enough it would not come back down.  so i watched him a bit.  after about 5 minutes the brick never came back down
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