The Brewmaster's Night Before Christmas
"Twas the night before kegging, when all through the pub
Not a carboy was stirring, not even a blub;
The hops had been added to the wort with care,
In hopes that a 50/50 soon would be there.
I was nestled all snug in my bed,
While visions of blue ribbons danced in my head;
The spices were added, allowed nicely to steep,
And I was all settled down for a long night's sleep.
When out in the pub there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter;
Away to the brewpub I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and tripped on a sash.
The glow of red on teh pool table so bright,
Gave me pause as I saw an unbelievable sight;
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Santa and eight reindeer, drinking my beer.
With a belly so round and his hat all askew,
I knew in a moment, he'd had more than a few;
More rapid than eagles he lifted his mug,
And he whistled and shouted, and took a few chugs.
"More Belgian! More Porter! More Kolsch and Stout,
More Amber! More Wheat! More Bock and Alt."
His eyes, how they glazed, his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
The hair from his cap was in need of a comb,
And the beard on his chin was covered in foam;
My eyes flew to my kegger, holding eight kegs of beer,
Sipping each tap was a tiny reindeer!
The glow in the room flashed on my night clothes,
It was Rudolph, I could tell by the red of his nose!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
I yelled, "Dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
Brewing barrels of coffee, I begged them partake,
They sipped the hot joe and they jolted awake!
Now up to the house top the coursers they flew,
Old Jolly and reindeer yelled, "Thanks for teh brew!
Warm cookies and milk await us tonight,
Your homebrew was perfect, the flavor just right!"
As I stood in stunned silence, and was shaking my head,
I thought, "Did I dream or fall out of my bed?"
My thoughts were confirmed, as I heard out in the night,
"I'm a convert this Christmas. To heck with 'beer lite'!"
© 2011 Matt Collins
Canda Williams considers herself a Brew Babe, as the proud wife of her homebrewing husband, Don. They live in Northern California, and enjoy their brewpub/game room with eight delicious beers on tap. In addition to writing, she creates personalized brew towls available at CandaKay.com.